


Mechanical

by vixxedfeelings



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Pining, Robots, Slow Burn, but it was written by me so I mean, lots of pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-22 15:01:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 37,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4839806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vixxedfeelings/pseuds/vixxedfeelings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jongdae wakes up in a house in the middle of the forest, not remembering much and not being able to find his phone, you can imagine he's worried. But his initial worry is nothing to the feeling that hits him when he meets just who saved him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Jongdae's eyes fluttered open, and he found himself staring up at an unfamiliar ceiling. His eyes trailed around, and he found nothing but an almost completely empty and old looking cabin room, and a large, clouded window to his left. His heartbeat picked up a little at the full realization that he had no recollection of this room whatsoever. Sitting up, he wiped the condensation off of the window, looking out at his foggy surroundings.

 

He was in the forest.

 

His mind was cloudy like the dark morning outside. How did he get there? The more he tried to remember, the less he felt like he knew. He checked all his pockets, looking for, but not finding his phone.

 

What was going on?

 

Looking back out at the forest through the window, he realized he did recall being in the forest, but the memories slowly faded out into nothing like an old song.

 

He got up slowly, his limbs aching a little. He wondered how long he had been there as he got up onto his weak legs. When he first tried walking, the limbs gave out and he crumpled into a pile of confusion.

 

Fear was starting to really affect him, but he pressed on. He exhaled heavily as he pushed himself onto his legs once more, this time gaining more control of them, though at first he almost fell again.

 

He was finally able to walk more steadily after practicing doing so in small circles for a minute or two.

 

Only then did he find it in him to make his way down the wooden stairs.

 

Each one creaked almost severely as he made his way down, but they didn't feel unsteady. Just kind of old.

 

The stairs led him to a large living room sitting in the center of the wooden cabin. As he looked around, for whatever reason, the unsettled feeling in his chest calmed a little. It felt safe somehow.

 

But then he saw tufts of hair peeking out from the top of one of the chairs, and he realized he was not alone.

 

His heart skipped a beat before jumping into his throat. What was he supposed to do? When he listened now, he could hear soft breathing coming from the person. From the slow, steady pace of it, he could tell they were asleep.

 

His feet seemed to be rooted to the ground. Judging from the height of the chair and the barely peeking out wisps of light orange hair, the person was quite short.

 

He stood there for several minutes, trying to calm himself with the gentle sounds like the stranger's breathing and the muffled bird's singing outside.

 

After a while, he felt calmer, but still couldn't bring himself to walk over to a place where he could see the sleeping stranger's face.

 

Suddenly, as he was beginning to zone out, he heard an abnormally loud inhale, and realized that they were waking up. He panicked, but he didn't think running was smart, so he stayed right where he was.

 

They stood up, and Jongdae, somewhere in his frantic state noted that they were male, and, in fact, very short.

 

The small figure turned around slowly, and goosebumps traveled across Jongdae's skin as he felt himself staring into a striking face, and unbearably beautiful, glowing, blue eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

The chills are almost painful on Jongdae's skin as the younger looking man's intense, glowing blue eyes stare directly back into his.

"You're awake," his soft voice comments. Jongdae tries to find useful words, but ends up just choking out, "Yeah."

The world stands still for what feels like a long time, and they remain frozen, eyes locked. It had been several minutes, and Jongdae's heartbeat still had not slowed down at all.

"Who are you?" Jongdae squeaked, still intimidated by the stranger's unique and stunning features.

But he just sat down calmly on an old fashioned couch, motioning for Jongdae to follow him in doing so on the chair across from him. Jongdae finally, reluctantly left the spot he had hidden in for an eternity to obey him, setting himself in the chair cautiously and never breaking eye contact with the mysterious boy.

"My name is Minseok, sir. You're probably wondering why you're here, and I can tell you. Through my window, I saw something abnormally large fall to the ground. So, out of curiosity, I went to see what it was. When I arrived, you were lying on the ground, and were obviously severely injured. So I took you here to treat you as there is no one else to do so. We are in the mountains after all, sir."

Jongdae turned his head to look out the window, seeing the place that he most likely fell from. He couldn't believe that this person had been able to save him after a fall from that height, but he was incredibly grateful.

"Thank you," he managed to tell him sincerely. Minseok nodded in acknowledgement, shutting his eyes momentarily to pair with it.

They continued to stare at each other. "Is something wrong, sir?" Minseok asked politely after a few long, silent moments. Jongdae almost said no, but it would be a lie.

"How exactly are your..." he trailed off, gesturing to his own eyes to signify he was talking about Minseok's. Minseok nodded steadily; he had been expecting his eyes to come up at some point, which means explaining something else.

"My eyes, yes. You see, sir, I am a robot. My creator loved blue eyes, so he gave me these," he explained, pointing to them.

Jongdae gaped at him. "You're...a robot?" he murmured slowly. How could a robot have cured him? And why did he seem so freakishly human?

"Yes, sir. My creator was trying to give me as many qualities of a real man as possible. His name was Luhan, and he designed me to breathe like a human, sleep like a human, talk, walk, all of the basic sensory details. He didn't design me to eat and drink though; I can produce food and water for my master but I do not eat or drink myself. Convenience, I presume. He was designing emotions for me when he died. He managed to add curiosity and responsibility to me before he passed."

The information hit Jongdae like a brick thrown at his chest. He had worked with machines for years now - he had always had an incredible aptitude for it - and a feeling of obligation started to steadily bubble inside of him.

Luckily, he had never had that much of a commitment to a certain place as his home, so making that place the cabin with Minseok wasn't going to be too hard for him. It's not like he had a way to get back home anyways.

"You know, I'm a machine expert myself. I could help finish you if you'd like," he offered to Minseok with nerves in his voice.

A chill seemed to travel through the air; Minseok had not ever spoken to, let alone had anyone work on him but his creator, but it had been a long time since he had passed, and it was about time Luhan's project was finished.

"Okay," Minseok agreed. "Should I show you his work space? You can get familiar with his tools before you start working on me."

Jongdae nodded in agreement, and as Minseok stood up he cautiously copied the action.

The short robot began to lead him to another staircase, but as his foot pressed down on the first step, no creaking sound was heard. Jongdae thought this was odd, but he shook the thought away, following him down into the basement.

When they reached the bottom, a huge experimentation area opened out in front of them. There was an operating table right in the center of the room, and various little stations scattered throughout. Jongdae noted that Minseok was obviously a very big deal at the sight of old projects strewn about the place, abandoned for the focus on the "robot with emotions".

He walked into the mess, beginning to pick up tools and study them, attempting to identify the use of each one.

"Do be cautious, sir," Minseok commented as Jongdae picked up one of the sharper of the tools to observe it. "Don't you worry about me," he mumbled back. From what he saw, he certainly had his work cut out for him, but the feeling of finishing something as big as this would no doubt trump the amount of toil it would require.

He was up for the challenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is this so far? I'm hoping it isn't too weird lol. I think of a lot of weird stuff idk. Although I guess it's not really weird in the standards of the EXO fandom. Anyways, hope you're enjoying. :)


	3. Chapter 3

All of the questions that had filled his mind when he'd first awoken ceased to matter to him as he laid in bed that night.

He was going to finish Minseok. No matter what, he was going to finish him.

The thoughts just wouldn't let him sleep, and he looked out at the window at the dim forest, a gloomy sort of peacefulness floating along with the moon glowing through the trees.

He was such a detached person, so he was completely lost as to why he had already started to feel like Minseok was so important to him. He rarely felt this way about the actual human beings he knew, let alone a machine.

But Minseok didn't feel like a machine. He felt like a person. A person that Jongdae already cared too much about.

*****

"What is this?" he asked Minseok, a look of confusion and slight disgust in his eyes. He was holding a glass up to the light that was filled with something that looked absolutely foul; with a mucky brown and thick texture, it looked like it could be tar with different coloration.

"I'd suggest just drinking it, sir. Make it quick," Minseok advised. The questioning look Jongdae was sporting only intensified, but he pinched his nose, and did as Minseok told him.

The stuff was quite thick, but not as thick as he had expected it to be. He could most certainly say that it was disgusting, though. As he finally was finishing, a shiver ripped through his body.

He looked to Minseok for an explanation, eyes watering. "That is now your source of nutrition and energy, I'm afraid, sir. However, it lasts a long time, so you don't need to have it but once every three weeks. That's what Luhan did, at least."

Jongdae nodded, his mouth still plagued with the terrible taste. "Can I get some water?" he asked quickly.

"Yes, sir," Minseok replied, grabbing a glass off of the counter that was already filled to the top with the antidote for the awful taste. He handed it to Jongdae, slow enough not to spill it, and he chugged it down as soon as the brim of the glass touched his lips.

When he finished, he slammed the glass down on the table victoriously, smacking his lips and saying, "Done."

"You certainly are, sir," Minseok replied, lips not peaking up even a little. Jongdae frowned grumpily. If Minseok was going to smile, he was going to need to write happiness into his system. He wanted Minseok to smile.

He stood up, pushing in his chair to the small table that sat at the edge of the room. "Do you mind if I look at the way you're put together? It'll help me get an idea of what to do when I'm adding in more emotions."

"Do as you wish, sir," Minseok responded, nodding subtly. Jongdae began to walk towards the door to the basement at the answer, and Minseok followed. They stepped down the stairs to the basement, and once they were there, Minseok made his way to the operating table.

Jongdae walked over as Minseok laid down flat on his back without hesitation, undoing the button down shirt that he wore, and pointing at a button on the top of his chest.

"This is how you turn me off. This here," he explained, gesturing to a line traveling down from his right collarbone to his lower stomach, "This is where you can open me. There's a handle, as you can see here, so just pull that and you should be able to find everything you need."

Nodding Jongdae replied, "Okay, good. Thank you," and Minseok nodded again, laying his head back and closing his eyes.

Jongdae reached forward and pressed the little glowing blue button on Minseok's chest, and the humanoid robot's breathing ceased. It felt strange, having the power to just turn Minseok off, being able to easily make him unresponsive without harming him.

Jongdae followed his directions, taking the little handle on his right side to open him up and check out how he was made. Of course, this felt even stranger, but he pressed on.

As soon as he saw the inside, he wondered if it was really possible that Minseok was made as long ago as he made it sound. It all looked so brand new. A rush of satisfaction ran through him. He loved machines. Everything felt so familiar and comfortable somehow, like paints to a great artist.

With the able mind of an engineer, (which he certainly possessed, along with a fair bit of genius) it seemed like adding the emotions would be easy to do, though it might take a while. Adding one a week seemed like it would be appropriate.

After thoroughly observing to his satisfaction, he shut the opening on the robot's chest, and pressed the blue button.

For whatever reason, he felt himself relax a little bit when Minseok's luminous, ocean eyes flicked open once again.

"Did you find what you need, sir?" he asked, that oh so polite air filling his voice once again.

"I think we're all set."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it? You know I think I like this story. I came up with the idea trying to fall asleep one school night and spent the entire rest of the night planning it out rip me. The cover took me two hours but you can't see it on here ahhhhhh. Well, tell me what you all think in the comments! 
> 
> Edit Chapter Delete Change Layout Remove Layout


	4. Chapter 4

Jongdae took a deep breath. It was a few days later, and he was adding the first emotion today. He had decided on fear, perhaps because he felt it would be very easy to test.

 

He was sitting down in one of the couches, leaning back into the cushion with his eyes on Minseok, who was sleeping peacefully on the couch again. Jongdae had asked him the day before if he had a bed, and he had explained to him that he did, but he preferred the couch.

 

Jongdae thought it was odd, but somehow sort of cute. He had always liked the little quirks he found when he met new people. His eyes drifting to the cool morning through the window, he was helping himself realize the fact that this is the last morning Minseok would be this version of himself. After a long time alone, Luhan's biggest project would finally be finished. Though Minseok couldn't even feel loneliness, he felt sympathetic towards him.

 

He heard that already familiar deep inhale, and his head turned to the waking robot. "Good morning, Minseok," he offered softly.

 

Immediately, Minseok sat up. "Good morning, sir," he replied blankly. One of his eyebrows lifted slightly as he noticed something. "Were you sitting out here with me, sir?" he questioned.

 

Jongdae nodded, an embarrassed pink dancing across his cheeks. Minseok just nodded in response, and Jongdae's hand raised up and started to scratch at his collarbones like he did when he felt nerves.

 

"Please refrain from doing that, sir," Minseok scolded. "It's probably sensitive from where I fixed you up." Jongdae felt slightly taken aback at the response, and the hint of unfamiliar sternness in Minseok's voice, until he realized that it was the responsibility Luhan had added being put into action.

 

He let his hand drop, eyes still a little wide. Though he knew what had happened, it was odd to hear the emotion in Minseok's voice.

 

"I'm adding fear today," Jongdae told him, trying to raise the confidence in his voice. He couldn't sound so pitiful all the time. "Alright," Minseok replied, standing up and staring at Jongdae, giving off an expectant vibe.

 

"Now?" Jongdae asked, timid again. He was conflicted; he wanted Minseok to be finished, but he was scared he would make a mistake. "Only if that's convenient for you, sir," Minseok told him.

 

He hadn't been planning on doing it right after he'd woken up, but now that he thought about it, getting it over with would probably be better.

 

They walked to the basement, Jongdae's stomach churning. Minseok hopped up on the table again without any hesitation, laying flat on his back. "Alright, sir. Whenever you're ready to begin."

 

Jongdae swallowed hard, and nodded, knowing that if he tried to talk now, it wouldn't work out too well. Minseok shut his eyes, arms relaxed at his sides. After a minute or so, Jongdae found it in him to turn Minseok off.

 

The robot completely relaxed, and just like before, his breathing stopped, leaving everything silent, and more intense than the first time. Jongdae, trying to reassure himself, opened him up. "Alright, let's just get this over with," he whispered to himself.

 

And so he dove in. He knew the center of the project, which was changing his body so it would react to things the same way humans did, appropriately paired with each emotion.

 

So for fear; the adrenaline, the shaking voice and hands, the fogginess of the mind. Keeping in mind not to overdo the sensitivity of the emotion, he got to work, losing himself in that comforting familiarity of each shining piece of metal, coated with such realistic skin.

 

His brain had completely gone on holiday, not even realizing the amount of time that had passed by. When he finally felt satisfied, having put an unbelievable amount of detail into him, he put down all of his tools and slowly, cautiously closed the little door on the robot's chest. He gathered all of his courage, and with shaking hands of his own, he pressed the blue button.

 

Minseok's eyelids slowly rose, and when they did, those glowing blue eyes greeted him once again. "Hello, sir," Minseok murmured, and a small sigh of relief left Jongdae's lips. "Hello, Minseok," he responded.

 

They sat in silence for a moment or two, and the air seemed so still. "Are we going upstairs, sir?" Minseok prompted. Jongdae simply nodded slowly, with eyes still lost in what was becoming, in part, a creation of his own.

 

Minseok stood, and in the end Jongdae was the one following _him_ up the stairs. Only when they reached the middle floor did Jongdae realize just how late it had become. It was dark, the dark that floated around outside his bedroom window, and he briefly wondered just how many hours it had been.

 

But the thought quickly dissolved, replaced by an idea. He saw that in the dim glow of the moonlight outside, it would be very hard to tell how far he was from the edge of the drop off about fifty feet away. It would be better to startle Minseok than to just stroll out as well.

 

He followed Minseok out into the living room area, the short robot sitting down, taking his time a little more than usual. Jongdae began to do the same, beginning to settle down into the couch, but before he was completely down in the coushions, he sprung onto his feet and sprinted out the door. The cool, misty air hit his face, and he continued to run at the pace that alarmed even himself. Just as a bit of doubt was starting to spark in his mind, he heard the sound he was waiting for behind him.

 

"Sir, please stop!" Minseok called out from the doorway, and Jongdae felt a chill travel through his body at the panic in his voice. He abruptly stopped about three feet from the edge. He'd done it.

 

Fear; check.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk what to say here. He did it though omg yay. Hope you liked it, tell me your opinions in the comments ~ See you soon! :D


	5. Chapter 5

Jongdae turned around very slowly, steadily, trying to keep the giddy grin from spreading across his face. "What is it, Minseok?" he responded, walking back to the shaken robot standing in front of the house.

Minseok stared for a good while, and somewhere in that odd, silent time period, Jongdae had made it back to him. He shook the new feeling out of him, reverting to his stern, responsible self.

"Stay away from that ledge, you could get hurt again," he ordered firmly, all vulnerability leaving his voice. At that, he turned around swiftly, all but marching back into the living room.

Jongdae stood in shock for just another moment, the gratification rushing through his skin. Sure, he had a long way to go, but every great accomplishment had a first step. He smiled; he had a good feeling about this whole thing.

He followed Minseok's actions and stepped inside, only to find him curled up in his usual spot on the couch, fast asleep, chest rising steadily with quiet, long breaths. He seemed to have a certain air of innocence for a reason that Jongdae could not determine. The way he seemed so confused, experiencing anything other than what he'd become accustomed to in the time after his original inventor had left the world, and the way he curled up when he slept, never having nightmares or particularly sweet dreams, just breathing slowly, and settling into the material of the couch.

Jongdae dismissed the thought, passing him without another glance and carefully making his way to the noisy stairs. He did his best to be silent on the way up, tiptoeing and wincing guiltily at each loud creak that was pulling from the wooden panels. He had learned several days earlier that Minseok, in fact, had been programmed to awaken to especially loud noises.

When he reached the top, he used his remaining energy to trot to his room, flopping himself down on the bed with a satisfying sound. How late was it exactly? It must have been quite so, but he didn't think about it for long; he was out in no time.

When he rose out of bed very late the next day, it was with confident grogginess, and a bit of a stumble in his step. He trudged out of his room with all the grace of a drunk elephant, and ended up falling halfway down the whining stairs. He tumbled down, landing at the bottom in a tangle of arms and legs, a small crumpled pile of clumsiness. He groaned, not moving, and suddenly he heard small, light footsteps padding over to his side.

"Sir, are you alright?" he heard Minseok's worried voice ask him. He smiled again at the activation of his work, and looked up at him to confirm, "Yeah, fine." Minseok shook his head, grasping onto Jongdae's hands and pulling him onto his feet. The real human of the two did not miss how oddly warm they were for not being real.

"You really need to be more careful, sir. You're going to really hurt yourself again," Minseok commented, staring pointedly at him. Jongdae's eyes moved to the floor, the smile remaining on his lips. "Sorry. I'll be more careful," he muttered, laughing softly at his own lack of swiftness. He'd only given him the ability to feel fear the day before, yet had already almost given him the closest thing he could experience to a heart attack twice. He really was something.

Minseok sighed, turning back around to go sit on the couch once again. Jongdae fidgeted with his fingers, following him to sit down on the other couch. He wanted so badly to continue with adding things, but he had to take it slowly. If there was anything he didn't want to do, it was to mess this up; mess up his chance to create something great.

Time without a task made him anxious, especially now that his only companion was a freakishly human robot who he had to admit attracted him in an unsettling way.

_Get it together, Jongdae. He's a machine. He can't feel anything for you._

_But that's why I'm here, isn't it? I'm going to make him feel things. Why not make him feel something for me? Something...a little more._

His thoughts scared him a little, but then again, who else was there around him? This oddly beautiful machine was all that he had anymore.

"Do you want to go on a walk?" he blurted out suddenly. Minseok looked at him blankly. "If you'd like to, then of course, sir."

Jongdae stood up quickly, and advanced towards the door, Minseok in tow. What was he doing exactly? He had no idea, but he needed to not sit here anymore; sitting around brings thoughts, and thoughts bring feelings, which he didn't want to deal with.

And so they walked into the cool, misty atmosphere together. "You don't need to worry about getting lost. I have navigation built into me," Minseok informed him as the cabin began to fade into the fog behind them. Jongdae nodded in acknowledgment, feeling himself get lost in the odd beauty of his surroundings. He had never really taken a proper look at everything out here, and he had to admit, it made him feel very calm and pleasant.

For no other reason really (or so he'd convinced himself) than that his mind was feeling dreamy and detached, he reached out and slipped his fingers through Minseok's. The robot just looked over at him, expressionless. "Why are you doing this, sir?" he asked quietly.

Jongdae smiled a small smile. "When two people like each other, sometimes they do this. Sometimes they do it to comfort each other, but other times they do it just because it's nice," he explained softly.

Minseok just nodded in understanding, his system taking the explanation as a hint to play along, and squeezed his hand gently in an unfortunately false return of affections that he could not hold himself.

He didn't realize he was making Jongdae's heart beat quicker, of course. In fact, with the intense flush spreading across his cheeks, Jongdae was wondering if he regretted reaching out or not.

But in the end, this was so nice for him. He didn't think about the fact that the robot wasn't really returning his feelings, he didn't think about the fact that he couldn't, he just enjoyed the feeling of Minseok's slender fingers tightened with his.

The atmosphere, the mist, the dull light of a cool, cloudy day filtering in through the endless pine trees; to him, this was the best feeling.

After a long while of silence, save for the pleasant background sounds around them, Minseok spoke, quietly so. "We should head back, sir. We want to be there before dark, considering the fact that you have unrivaled clumsiness and I don't want you hurt again."  
Jongdae nodded, giggling slightly at the unintentionally teasing comment.

But this time, Minseok turned his head, expression glossed with curiosity. "What is that, exactly, sir?" he asked. Jongdae stared for a moment, confused. "What is what?"

"When your mouth curves up, and your voice comes out and your eyes thin out a bit. Luhan did it too. What is it?"

The light in Jongdae's face seemed to fall all of a sudden. "It's...it's called laughing. It's something humans do when we're happy," he explained gloomily, eyes now locked on the ground. "Happy. Luhan said that word to me once, and little drops of water began to fall from his eyes. Does that happen when you're happy too?"

"Well, sometimes. And other times...it...it happens...when we're sad," he forced out.

_Don't you see, Jongdae? He's a machine. Just a machine. And no matter what you do, that's all he'll ever be._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I'm so sorry for taking so long on this /-\ I really hope that it's good and I once again apologize for being such a piece of trash. I think I'm gonna try to more evenly update things. Hopefully. Until then, hope you liked it, and I'll see you soon! c:


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I UPDATE THIS SO SLOW FORGIVE ME

  
Finally, a week passed, and Jongdae definitely did not forget. Today, he would finally be able to add the next emotion, and as he launched himself out of bed that morning, he realized that he hadn't actually chosen one to install yet. He pondered, now on his feet and pacing wildly around the room.  
  
This went on for longer than he realized, and perhaps that was why Minseok was suddenly standing in the doorway some unknown amount of time later, raising an eyebrow at him. Either way, he nearly sprung out of his skeleton when he finally saw him there, and he was lucky he didn't end up on the floor again.  
  
"Sir," Minseok started when Jongdae finally caught sight of him. "What are you doing?"  
  
Jongdae's cheeks flushed a little, and he laughed nervously. "Just...thinking," he squeaked, not exactly lying though his tone would suggest it. Minseok nodded, beginning to walk out of the room, but Jongdae trotted over to grab his wrist softly. "Do you mind if I add the next one now?" he asked in a quiet tone, and Minseok turned his head to lock eyes.  
  
There was something different this time, though. A spark of fright seemed to flash across the robot; anticipation, but not curiosity. Jongdae's mind filled with pride, and not only that, but also an idea.  
  
"Yes, sir," Minseok forced himself to say, blinking nervously. Jongdae smiled at him. "You'll be alright," he reassured him, but Minseok showed no change, which confirmed Jongdae's idea. He knew just what to do.  
  
*****  
  
Minseok walked up to the table slowly, and Jongdae remembered the way that he had laid down flat before, with no tentative shakiness or slowness.  
  
This time though, there was a significant amount of hesitation as he laid his back down to the cold, flat surface. Jongdae walked up to him, and began to gather tools into his area, trying to ignore the robot's nerves. Suddenly, though, as soon as he had finished putting down the last thing, he felt his hand being grabbed.  
  
His heartbeat rocketed as he realized, turning his head that Minseok had laced their fingers together quickly, and he was squeezing tight. His eyes were staring up at him like a scared puppy, and Jongdae _melted_.  
  
"Why are you doing this?" Jongdae asked with a wide tremble in his voice. Minseok opened his mouth slowly. "You said...you said people do this when they're scared, right?"  
  
Jongdae's eyes widened slightly. He was doing this because of what he had said to him the other day, about people holding hands. It had totally slipped his mind, and a huge feeling of hope bloomed in his heart as he squeezed Minseok's smaller hand back.  
  
"Yeah, I did."  
  
He stared down at the frightened face for what felt like forever, before leaning down to place a short kiss on his forehead. "You'll be alright," he whispered again, and Minseok closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.  
  
It took everything in him to shut him off, his hand slow as he hesitantly pushed the button. After the blue light flickered out, he forced himself not to just gaze at Minseok. The fascination he felt towards the robot never faded. He was odd company, but somehow Jongdae couldn't wish for anything different. He shook his head free of drifting thoughts quickly, before they carried him away, and got to work.  
  
He had so much more confidence in himself now that he'd been through this once before (especially since he had completely succeeded the first time). He worked quicker, and with that same hope fresh in his mind. He could do this.  
  
He finished before dusk this time, and could not have been happier when he was able to press the little blue button once more. Minseok's eyes fluttered open, and he sat up slowly.  
  
"How did it go, sir? I'm sure it went very well, but I'd like to hear it from you," were the first words out of his mouth. Jongdae smiled.  
  
"I believe you've just showed me how well it went."  
  
Minseok tilted his head in curiosity. "You're able to trust me now. You know that I won't hurt you," Jongdae explained, smiling and leaning forward to affectionately muss up his hair. Not able to be irritated, Minseok just nodded in understanding, and stood up. Jongdae followed this action, and they both walked upstairs in amicable silence.  
  
Though Minseok had already showed a fresh spark of the latest addition to his emotions, Jongdae still wanted to try other things out to test it. It gave him a sense of satisfaction, and it helped him get to know the personality he was creating.  
  
"Minseok," he said as they reached the middle floor. The robot turned his head to face him, eyes questioning and somehow softer. "Isn't there a creek fairly close to here?" he asked.  
  
Minseok nodded, walking over to the door and opening it before stopping and turning around. "Would you like to go there, sir?"  
  
"Yes," he replied, despite his eyes catching sight of the sunset glowing outside the window. He decided he didn't really care if night would fall while they were outside tonight. There weren't any clouds, so the moonlight would be bright enough to light their way.  
  
They walked outside together, Minseok leading the way as he followed the maps displayed inside of his synthetic eyelids. It didn't take too long for them to hear the soft sound of water running over rocks. They stared at the sight of the water glimmering from the moonlight, and the trees that leaned slightly inward at the banks. Minseok murmured in an obvious announcement, "Here we are, sir."  
  
Jongdae walked over to the edge, almost wanting to jump in, abandon all thoughts and splash like a little kid in a puddle when it rained. He'd always loved water, which was somewhat ironic considering his equal love for machines. He blinked, realizing something. Machines.  
  
He turned around. "Minseok. Will water break you?" he asked, noticing that the robot had not advanced any closer to the water.  
  
"It won't unless my inner parts are exposed to too much of it, but it makes me feel uneasy, sir," he admitted.  
  
Jongdae beckoned him forward with a gentle gesture, and Minseok gave him an unsure stare, the electric blue of his eyes filled with doubt. "Hey, you'll be okay. I just want you to sit with me for a while. Remember? I won't let you get hurt," Jongdae assured him.  
  
Finally, Minseok obeyed, walking slowly over to the edge of the sparkling water with the new feeling of trust bubbling inside him. Jongdae then sat down in the grass, and patted the spot next to him. "Here," he said, looking up at Minseok, who eventually joined him, scooting simultaneously as far away from the water and as close to Jongdae as he could get.  
  
Jongdae slid his hand into the robot's after a small pause, looking over to clarify, "So this helps you when you feel scared, right?" Minseok nodded, squeezing his hand familiarly. "Yes, this makes me feel better."  
  
Jongdae's heart fluttered once again, and he turned his head to gaze at the water, letting himself drift off in the warm at his side. Maybe Minseok really could be more than a machine.  
  
Maybe everything was going to work out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are so patient with me, bless your hearts. I hope this chapter was worth the wait :') 
> 
> See you soon! c:


	7. Chapter 7

"And here's the water," Minseok said as he set the glass down. Jongdae nodded in thanks, and immediately downed the whole glass. He just couldn't get over the terrible taste of the tar-like substance that replaced food in his world, so he was grateful for the subsiding of it. After he finished, he slammed the glass on the table triumphantly, as usual.

What was unusual was the uncertainty that rested in the pit of his stomach. Today, he could add the next emotion, and he'd decided which it was going to be. In fact, his apprehension was caused by his choice, but he did not change it. For some reason, his instincts told him this was the best way to go.

He stood up, looking Minseok in the eyes and trying to ignore the guilt that was itching at him, threatening to change his mind.

"Okay, are you ready?" he asked gently.

Though Minseok's electric blue eyes clouded with nerves, he nodded surely, and turned around to walk to the basement door. Jongdae followed him there and down the steps quietly, watching with an unsure expression as Minseok trotted over shakily to the table and laid himself down.

He approached him carefully, and upon seeing the same glazed over expression that he'd seen before, he once again reached out to squeeze Minseok's precious hand in his.

"You'll be alright," he promised, though his voice was not full of confidence.

But Minseok's new trusting nature was triggered, and though he was gripping Jongdae like a lifeline, he murmured, "I know." He let his eyelids shut, a deep exhale flowing out from his lips, and Jongdae took it as a silent sign that he was okay to turn him off.

His finger drifted up and slowly pressed down on the button, the blue light flickering out. He frowned down at the unmoving robot. Why was he installing this one so early on? Doubts trickled in once more, but he tried his best to ignore them.

Hours passed. This emotion took him longer as there was a more detailed physical reaction than the last he'd added. He supposed that maybe he was spending so much time on the intricacy of this one because he felt it so often himself.

When he finally finished, the sun had long since sunken out of sight, and he was yawning in exhaustion.

But despite his sleepiness, his thoughts were grinding in his head. To know he'd done this right, he'd be trapping himself in between undesirable choices. Every option that crossed his mind just seemed cruel, unwarranted, undeserved. His head was beginning to hurt, and he decided he was just going to have to get over it. Finally, he picked his poison, his mind totally forgetting that Minseok didn't have the capability to hold a grudge.

He shook his head, sighing to himself as he reached forward and pressed the button. Minseok's eyes flicked open, sitting up steadily with more relaxed eyes.

"Minseok," he addressed him, face nervous. The robot turned himself so he was sitting on the edge of the table like a child at the doctor's. "Yes, sir?" he replied obediently, expression expectant.

"I have...something I need to tell you," he began. There was a dread sinking into him; he didn't want to do this. Minseok just nodded, waiting for Jongdae to speak. He could sense the nerves coming off of his taller companion, and so he tried to keep a calm demeanor as to not make him worry even more.

"You see, I'm..." Jongdae trailed off, biting his lip, and Minseok shifted a little bit in his spot.

"Is there something wrong, sir?" he tried, eyes narrowing in a way that made his stunning pupils look as if they were shining with protective instinct. Jongdae looked at the floor; he didn't want to face him. Why did he feel so guilty?

He tried to throw away his hesitation; he was going to do it, no matter how terrible it made him feel.

"I'm...leaving."

Silence.

Long silence.

"L-Leaving?" Minseok stuttered, voice quivering and face dropping into an expression that Jongdae couldn't bare to look at.

"Yes."

"Why?" Minseok asked weakly, eyes wide.

"Because I don't want you anymore."

Minseok's hollow gaze drifted to the ground, and suddenly, it happened. At any other time, he would have been confused, but his system was fogged in this moment as tears began to roll down his face, and he wore a wincing expression. He raised his head up again to find Jongdae looking at him, but he was only a blurry image.

"I'm sorry for anything that I did wrong, sir," he murmured, hearing his voice shake. "I didn't mean to."

Almost immediately, Jongdae shook his head rapidly. "It's not real, Minseok. It's not true, I'm not leaving you," he blurted out.

"What?" Minseok hiccuped.

"I just said that because I needed to test your emotion. I'm so sorry," he admitted, the guilt stabbing at him like needles all over his body.

Minseok's eyes were still extremely wide, but he exhaled in relief.

"Please don't do that again," he breathed innocently, blinking, wiping away the tears and sniffling as he slid off the table and somewhat clumsily onto his feet.

"I won't," Jongdae promised, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around Minseok's small frame. The robot stood still, confused once more. "Sir?..." he mumbled, the uncertainty and fragile tone still clear in his voice.

"This is a hug," Jongdae told him, tightening his hold just slightly. "It's kind of like holding hands in a way, but it's a little different."

"Oh." Minseok raised his arms up tentatively, winding them around so his hands ran up Jongdae's back, making a chill run through the taller.

_Why are his hands warm? Maybe Luhan did more than I thought he did._

"I like this," Minseok decided in a small voice, nuzzling his head into Jongdae's neck slightly. His breath hushed across the skin, and Jongdae smiled softly. "Me too."

They truly fit together like pieces of a puzzle.

And Jongdae just couldn't ignore it.

After a long, long time, Jongdae realized that Minseok's breathing was extremely steady, and he barely made a sound.

He had fallen asleep.

As gently as he could, he used his hold on Minseok to sit him back down on the table. He then slid an arm under both of his legs, and turned so the other was around the smaller's torso, under his arms.

"You're so cute," he whispered to the sleeping Minseok, blowing a little bit of air on his face playfully. His nose scrunched in his sleep, and he took a deep breath. Jongdae almost giggled out loud, but restrained himself as he slowly made his way to the edge of the basement, and up the stairs.

He managed to get to the living room without pulling the robot from his peaceful state, and he sighed in relief as he set him down on the couch. Minseok snuggled himself into the cushions endearingly.

All of his habits, mannerisms, cute and quirky little things - Jongdae was now realizing, as much as he loved each one, that many of them were there because of the work Luhan had done when he was still alive.

It made him curious. How could the inventor have created something so precious and fascinating, and not been in the same position as Jongdae? How did his heart not break? How did he not fall for someone who may never love him back?

What was his secret?

In some way or another, Jongdae was determined to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda short but yeah. Did I sCARE ANYONE AT THE PART WHERE HE SAID HE WAS LEAVING BECAUSE I DIDNT MEAN TO DEFINITELY HahHhHhahahhA. I'm so bad. Bye. Forgive me. Anyways, I hope you liked it. See you soon! c:


	8. Chapter 8

The door swung open with a protesting creak, and Jongdae emerged with a small grin and a spirit of triumph welling up in his chest. He had already successfully planned out the next emotion and what he would do to complete it, so he would be ready for the procedure when the time came. For many people in his situation, this would be a normality, but for Jongdae, a natural procrastinator, it was an accomplishment.

Strolling happily around the corner into the living room, he lightened his footsteps over to the couch so he could nudge Minseok awake.

A hand was already outstretched towards the couch, ready to be placed on his shoulder when Jongdae realized that the robot wasn't there.

He frowned with eyebrows knitted close together, staring at the warm, slightly concave spot where Minseok had been sleeping who knows how long ago.

This was a bit odd. Usually, when the robot woke up, the first thing he did was come find Jongdae, (if he wasn't there with him already) and in the times he didn't, he was usually in the living room or the kitchen.

"Minseok?" he called out, scanning around the quiet corners of the cabin. At first he heard and saw nothing except for wooden walls, and the sounds of the forest outside of their door, and a twinge of worry sparked in his stomach. He knew well that the robot had especially good hearing, and always replied to him. This thought brought him to the idea that he may have left the cabin. But if so, why? And where was he now?

Suddenly, his concern and questions were relieved with a skip of his heartbeat and a violent flinch when he heard a slightly muffled, "Sir?"

He wheeled around towards the sound, and the first thing he saw was Minseok's tilted head in the front window, as adorable as ever but with a hint of a fright lingering in his pupils. "Minseok?" he blurted out.

Awkward staring ensued, Minseok's little face blank as it peeked through the dirty glass and Jongdae not able to find it in him to move. He almost looked as if he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't be doing, but Jongdae couldn't think of what it could possibly be. No, of course not. There was nothing Minseok could do to disobey; it's not as if he'd really made _rules_ for him or anything.

Nonetheless, though, he realized he needed to check up on what the robot was doing outside. Finally, he shook himself out of their shared trance, blinking away the fuzziness in his brain as he trotted over to the cabin door and pulled it open. He poked his head out to look over at the robot, who had shifted his gaze to blink silently back at him, unmoving and holding his palms out in front of his chest.

"What-" Jongdae began, but he stopped himself, raising an eyebrow as he noticed something else that stood out to him for whatever reason.

"What is that?" he asked cautiously, gesturing with his eyes to the little dark tuft in the robot's hands. Minseok glanced down at it just as it squirmed, letting Jongdae know it was a living thing.

"It's a bird, sir."

"Why are you holding it?" he questioned, taking a slow step forward and trying to get a better look at the creature.

"It hit the wall of the cabin when it was flying, sir," Minseok explained, holding his hands out to show him but maintaining his gentle hold of the small bird. "Its wing is injured."

Curiosity. Responsibility. Now he understood.

The same two things that had brought Minseok to save Jongdae in the first place now caused him to come to the aid of an animal.

Minseok just looked at him with a completely unreadable expression, waiting for his response. There may have been a lack of compassion driving the robot's actions, but Jongdae still found the whole thing sweet somehow.

"Ah, I see. Here, bring him inside, okay?" Jongdae suggested with some sort of sympathy in his tone, gesturing with his hands to follow him through the door and back into the cabin. Minseok simply nodded in agreement, and then proceeded to carefully pad back through the doorway with Jongdae in front of him.

With light footsteps, he brought the bird over to the couch, and set him down gingerly on one of the cushions before kneeling onto the floor, folding his legs underneath him. Jongdae stood behind him, watching with slight fascination as Minseok inspected the bird's wing with dexterous fingers and observant eyes, careful not to hurt the creature.

"He won't be able to fly for a while, but if we care for him, we can shorten the time it will take. What do you say?" the robot offered, turning to Jongdae to search for approval.

He thought about it for a moment. How hard could taking care of a bird possibly be? Especially with help. From what he'd seen, Minseok was far more responsible than he was anyways. Still, he had a tendency to be a little indecisive depending on the situation, and he thought it over and through a few more times, but he couldn't really find anything wrong with the plan.

Finally, he smiled and nodded in agreement, which Minseok took as a cue to turn his head and his focus back around to the bird. Jongdae felt his own bit of curiosity just then, and without thinking, he kneeled down and shuffled himself on his knees over next to Minseok, leaning forward onto the couch so he could see the bird.

It wasn't a bit nervous or aggressive like he had expected it might be, which he thought was pretty odd considering it was just a wild bird from out in the forest. In fact, it was quite cute, if he was being honest. A tiny bit like Minseok, he reluctantly realized, in its calm nature and endearing features.

"If you wouldn't mind watching him for a moment, sir," Minseok requested suddenly, lifting himself to his feet once more.

"Uh, yeah, of course. Do what you need to do," Jongdae assured him, scooting forward on his knees so he was closer to the bird as Minseok left the living room, going instead into the kitchen for a reason that Jongdae did not know.

As he listened to Minseok's bustling around in the other room, he reached out to gently pet the top of the bird's head with his index finger, smiling when it simply relaxed under his touch. As embarrassing as he'd found it when others noticed, he had always had such a soft spot for anything small and cute, and the gesture of comfort from their little patient warmed his heart.

"So, do you wanna give it a name or something?" he asked absentmindedly, studying the innocent, beady eyes of the animal.

There was a pause as Minseok thought, his little footsteps leading back into the living room and to the couch once more. The robot set a decent length strip of bandaging that he'd cut from the roll down on the cushion next to the injured bird. As Jongdae shuffled out of his way, he noticed there was also a piece of clear tape stuck temporarily to his wrist.

"Lu," Minseok answered suddenly, glancing over innocently at Jongdae with those bright blue eyes. "Can his name be Lu?" he clarified.

"Do you miss Luhan?" he asked gloomily, but with a smile on his face, forgetting completely for the umpteenth time that he was not speaking to a person.

"I don't think it's in my ability to, sir. But he always treated me very well," Minseok answered intelligently, turning back to the bird.

"Yeah. We'll name him Lu," Jongdae agreed softly as he watched Minseok begin to gently wrap him up in the bandaging so his injured wing could not be moved from his side. Lu squirmed a bit in the process, but Minseok was very careful not to touch him or hold him in any way that he thought might hurt him.

Jongdae felt his heart tighten at the thought that the robot must have treated him the same way when he cared for him before. When he'd found him, a mess of broken limbs and bruises, and carried him inside with strong arms, he must have been determined to help. When he cared for Jongdae's broken self, Minseok must have been just as gentle and sweet, with careful hands and a mechanical heart that never even knew the way he would make the injured boy in the bed feel when he opened his eyes.

It made his mind foggy, just like the forest just outside their wooden cabin, and maybe just a little bit afraid.

_He doesn't feel love for me as a special being because he loves all living things from the start. And yet, he can't even feel love in the first place. It's just the way he is._

What a funny place the world is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW FINALLY. It's been like four months since I posted anything for this one smh. And I love it so much too I've just had a really bad lack of inspiration and motivation but hERE I AM NOW. MECHANICAL IS BACK YALL. Sorry it wasn't all that long; I just hope you liked it anyways :') See you soon! c:


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is actually a good length compared to the other chapters in this fic I am happy
> 
> Anyways
> 
> Enjoy cause it definitely gets interesting ha

That night as he laid in bed, staring out his window at the blurry moon, Jongdae's mind dwelled on Luhan.

The inventor was a mystery to him, a mystery he wanted somehow to understand. How did he make Minseok so lifelike? And not just in the aspect of appearance, but in the way he seemed to have a personality.

How could an extraordinary person such as him bring a being so wonderful and intriguing, so intelligent yet innocent into the world, and then suddenly, just disappear from it?

And the most puzzling thing to Jongdae; how could Luhan have spent such a long time with this wonderful being without driving himself crazy with longing?

Then again, maybe Luhan did feel longing. Jongdae sometimes really wondered if maybe that longing and loneliness was what eventually brought him to death, despite it being such a dark thought. After all, Luhan seemed to have been a genius, and it seemed to Jongdae that most geniuses tend to be at least standing on the line between mental stability and sickness, if not far past it.

If only he could speak to him in person. Talk to the man who created such a project for himself and then left it on its own, whether he did so intentionally or not. It was odd that the guy was so imperative to the way his current life was playing out, and yet he'd never even seen his face before. He chuckled silently to himself. When he thought about it, everything about his life now was odd, and yet he didn't really mind much.

He turned himself over on his side, pulling the covers further up over himself in the chilly room. Tomorrow, he was going to try and learn a few things.

Learn a few things about a certain inventor.

*****

"Sir."

His eyes opened slowly, one at a time, and he suddenly found himself staring directly up at electric blue eyes, that were hovering over him dangerously close.

He gasped in shock at the proximity, his legs frantically pushing his body upwards against the headboard. He managed to knock the back of his head hard on the wooden frame in the process, letting out a sharp yelp of pain.

"Be careful, sir," Minseok reminded calmly but with a slight edge of scolding, and Jongdae nodded at him groggily, hissing as he moved a cold hand over the spot where he knew a bump was going to form.

"You've been asleep all day. Did you have trouble sleeping last night?" he asked him tonelessly, pulling the blanket off of his body and stepping back so Jongdae would have room to climb out onto his feet.

"A little, yeah," he mumbled, using his hands to push himself out of bed and into the vacant spot. "I don't feel too bad right now, though," he added, and he stepped forward to lead the way out the door.

He was going to ask him. Soon.

_Just give him a little time first. He may not have many emotions yet, but it's best to be careful when delving into something as definitive to him as his inventor._

"So, how is Lu doing today?" he brought up idly, trudging down the squeaky steps as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes with one hand and cupped the back of his head with the other.

"He's doing well, sir. He's had a good deal to eat and drink, and seems to be content with his temporary shelter. I'm hoping that perhaps his wing will be healed enough for him to fly safely in a few weeks," Minseok reported as they reached the living room.

"That's good," Jongdae replied through a yawn before glancing over at the robot to smile at him. Minseok nodded.

"There's one other thing, sir," he added.

"Oh?"

"I'd like to check in on your previous injuries today, if you don't mind. I'm sure things are fine, but it can't hurt to make sure," he explained, gesturing towards the couch before walking over beside it.

_Oh_.

That was right. The whole reason he was even here in the first place was because Minseok had found him in pieces, and he had probably been in a coma for some unknown amount of time.

The fact that he still couldn't fully remember falling, or even anything before that was odd to him. It was like the life before Minseok was erased, and he was all that was left.

"Okay," Jongdae responded finally, joining the robot at the couch and laying down on his back with his head supported by the arm of it.

He felt anticipation in him like water silently filling up his lungs. He had seen the scars on his chest before, but he hadn't really paid much attention to them. What did they look like now? Were his injuries really healed, like he had simply assumed them to be?

And most impending at the moment, what exactly was Minseok about to do?

"Alright. Do you mind me unbuttoning this, sir?" he asked steadily, glancing over at the black button-up shirt that was a little too large for him. Jongdae could feel his heart caving in on itself as his cheeks heated up, but he pretended like it was nothing.

"That's fine," he managed to get out, nodding. He pushed away raging embarrassment and the urge to roll away as he watched nimble fingers pull the buttons out of their confinement and push the fabric of the shirt out of the way.

That action revealed long, purple scars on his chest from hiding, ones that he hadn't even realized the severity of. They were huge, and a slightly fading hue of violet that almost reminded him of the colors of a sunset ripped across his skin. His eyes were wide, but he tried his best to look away.

"Okay. These are doing very well. They probably won't fade completely, but in the healing aspect I'd say you won't have to worry about them, sir," Minseok told him, dragging a thumb experimentally over one of them and making Jongdae shiver.

Minseok frowned at the reaction. "Did that hurt?" he asked in slight confusion, staring intently at the marks. "It shouldn't have," he added, thumbing very lightly and carefully over one of the scars again.

"No, it doesn't hurt; your fingers are just cold," Jongdae explained in a murmur, giggling quietly.

Well, that was part of the truth.

Minseok didn't seem to acknowledge the words of his reply much, though, merely proceeding to inspect the scars a little closer before he did anything else. "You did that thing again," he commented, not stopping to make eye contact. "That laughing thing."

Jongdae's smile faded a little, but he nodded to show the robot was correct. "Yeah, I did," he agreed when it occurred to him that Minseok couldn't see him nodding.

The robot pressed down gently on his ribcage with his fingertips, making sure everything at least felt completely in tact. Jongdae looked away, breathing unsteadily as he closely studied the couch cushions with his lips pressed into a thin line.

_Just a robot, just a robot..._

"Breathe in," Minseok directed thoughtfully, and he obeyed, taking a slow, deep inhale, and waiting until he heard, "And back out," to let it go. He wondered, as the robot continued on, exactly what month it had been when he'd discovered his limp body on the forest floor.

_On that thought, actually, what month even is it now?_

He gasped suddenly as he felt the pads of fingers on his shins, pushing back the ends of the sweatpants he was wearing, and his head jerked over to see Minseok calmly blinking back at him.

"Your leg was broken as well, sir. I know that you have been walking on it without much trouble, but it's best for me to take a look just in case," he explained, and Jongdae swallowed thickly.

"Gotcha," he replied, honestly wanting to roll his eyes at himself as he let his head fall back on the arm of the couch. Minseok was seriously catching him off guard today for whatever reason, and he wished he knew why. He also wished the pain in the back of his head would go away, but he couldn't always get what he wanted, he supposed.

"Alright, sir. I believe everything has returned to normal now. You've made an exceptional recovery," he announced, pulling the leg of Jongdae's pants back down over his ankle, as well as reaching forward to button his shirt back up.

"Thank you, Minseok," he replied, clearing his throat as the robot fastened the top button. Minseok nodded, and was about to walk off to who knows where when Jongdae placed a hand on his shoulder.

_This could be it. This could be the difference between getting some answers and spending every moment wondering._

_"_ Actually, I've got one more thing too," he stated, and Minseok detected immediately that Jongdae was apprehensive about whatever it was.

His eyebrows knitted together. "Yes, sir?" he responded dutifully nonetheless, and Jongdae pulled his hand away, clearing his throat again.

_Watch your wording. Be cautious._

"I've...just been wondering lately...and I know you've already told me some things about him. But I've been a little curious about Luhan, and...I wanted to know if you had any footage of him or something?" he asked carefully, nervously licking his lips and not able to pull his eyes away from the robot's face.

Minseok seemed to not really understand why he might ask for something like that, but of course, he couldn't be offended, (or tell anything other than the truth) so instead, he just proceeded to answer him in complete honesty. "I do, actually. I could project it on the wall for you if you would like to watch it, sir," he told him.

_Perfect_.

His heartbeat picked up a little; he was going to see him, this genius who was now gone. The genius he was so curious about.

"Yeah, if that's alright," he agreed, and the robot nodded in acknowledgement.

He watched in awe just then as the brightness in Minseok's eyes sparked up all of a sudden, and the blue glow projected a picture that he dragged onto the wooden walls of the cabin. He was a being of endless surprises, that was for sure.

For a few moments, there was just a soft blue blur floating on the wall steadily, and Jongdae realized that Minseok had simply begun to stop himself from blinking so it didn't interfere with the picture. Then, text came up in the corner of the screen, reading, _May18th._

The blur cut out and was replaced by a shot very close to a wrinkled white shirt; another piece of clothing of Luhan's that Jongdae had been wearing regularly. It was then that he heard a voice exclaim, "Ah, I think I did it!" and the shirt moved back a few feet to reveal the person wearing it; Luhan.

Jongdae stared, wide eyed as the lovely (and quite young-looking, for someone so smart) boy grinned in triumph. "There we go. Shouldn't have put that stupid switch underneath your hair," he laughed at himself softly in his small voice, shaking his head.

"Anyways, why don't you tell me what we did today?" he suggested to Minseok, and Jongdae noticed that in the video, they were close to the same spot that him and the robot stood right that second.

"Today, we finished work on my joints to make me move properly, and fixed my camera feature, master," Minseok's voice sounded, and it seemed to be even more toneless than some of the times that he spoke now. Plus, _master?_ Where did that come from?

But despite the things Jongdae noticed, Luhan looked so proud, almost harmfully so, nodding in obvious approval. "Good. Oh, also, just call me Luhan, okay?" he requested.

"Yes, Luhan," the name slipped off of his tongue for the first time slowly, and just a little clumsily, but the one it belonged to was still as happy as could be, a face-splitting grin spread out across his mouth.

The boy then proceeded to reach past the view of the camera in Minseok's eye to press that same button on his head, and the screen returned to a blur.

Then, in the same small white letters, _May 29th_ popped up, and there was Luhan once again.

He was sitting on a rock out in the woods casually, and his expression made Jongdae feel the generally warm, happy tone he had to him, even if he also sensed a certain shyness that might have shown more when talking to other people and not his robot.

"Okay Minseok. How about you talk about what I've been working on since we last tried this out," he directed as he kicked his feet out childishly, his head lolling over towards one shoulder.

"Well, we've worked on some little things like the tone of my voice, breathing, blinking - which turns off when my camera is recording," he listed off thoughtfully, Luhan nodding all the while. "Also you m-"

Suddenly Minseok's voice dwindled down into silence, and it sounded like it had powered off somehow. Luhan frowned in concern.

"Uh oh...must've screwed something up in your voice," he worried out loud, sitting up from his relaxed position and running two fingers over the synthetic skin on his throat.

"Here, let's go back. I'm gonna try to fix this," he remarked, and they both jumped the couple feet down from the rock before Luhan reached forward to turn off the camera.

_June 11th._

Luhan sat on the couch in this video, sunken lazily into the cushions. His face looked a little more tired in this one, but he smiled at the camera nonetheless.

"Alright. So, today wasn't the _greatest_ day, really, but we did fix a few things, didn't we, Minseok?" he asked positively, brushing his messy hair out of his dark eyes.

"Yes, we did, master," the robot answered, and you could tell he nodded from the way the picture moved slightly up and down.

"Ah, memory error," he grumbled, rubbing one eye with the back of his hand. "Call me Luhan, okay?" he reminded, extending an arm out to squeeze Minseok's shoulder affectionately.

"Oh. Yes, Luhan," he corrected himself, and Luhan winked at him.

On June 25th, the two of them laying next to each other on the bed Jongdae now slept in nightly, they talked about adding curious behavior into his system, Minseok mentioning that he felt more interested in the world now because of it.

When Luhan asked him about it, Minseok told him that he felt he almost wanted to chase butterflies, or stay up and watch the moon at night, and the boy seemed to be right back at that happy place despite the little falter from two weeks before.

July 14th, Luhan tried the gunky, tar-colored stuff that Minseok was now able to provide for him, and he nearly cried as it went down, but he drank all the rest bravely. He chugged an entire glass of water afterwards, but giggled and thanked Minseok despite everything.

July 23rd, as Luhan cleaned some of his tools with a cloth in the basement, he explained that he'd finished programming responsibility into Minseok's system that day.

The robot in response asked him why he had chosen curiosity and responsibility as his first particular features in his personality, and Luhan stopped cleaning for a moment, making eye contact.

"They're the two things I loved most ab- well, the two things I...I guess...just...the two qualities I like most in people," he stuttered out, and went back to what he was doing as if nothing had happened.

Minseok accepted the answer without any doubt, but Jongdae wondered what Luhan was about to say the first time. There was obviously something, something that he had realized would not be good to tell him. What might it have been?

_August 5th_ appeared in the corner.

Minseok's eyes seemed to be showing that he was at the bottom of a tree, looking up the bark of the trunk to the leaves.

It stayed like that for a moment, but then, "Okay, go," could be heard from behind him, and almost as soon as the words were spoken, he was using his strength to climb up. Luckily, it was not long before a sturdy branch was within his reach, and with a little grunt he hoisted his body up onto it, moving himself into a comfortable sitting position.

He directed his gaze downward to Luhan, who was looking up at him proudly from the ground. "You did it!" his smooth voice praised, coming up to the tree trunk himself and hugging it endearingly.

"Yes, I did," the robot replied matter-of-factly, and Jongdae snorted in amusement. Sometimes, Minseok could sound pretty cocky without even trying to.

Luhan just stared up for a good couple of moments before finally, he called up, "Could you help me get up there?"

Minseok paused for just a moment, seemingly assessing the situation with glances around before nodding. "If you climb part of it, I can most likely get you up the rest of the way, Luhan," he explained, making sure he was in a position on the branch in which he could hold a decent amount of weight without falling forward.

"Sounds good," Luhan agreed, and after only a short tentative moment, he stepped his left foot up into a little groove in the tree trunk, and tightened his arms around it so he wouldn't fall backwards. Jongdae could see him planning out each of his moves as he went from the expression on his face, the boy shuffling himself up the trunk to the best of his ability. It was slow, but still effective in the end.

Eventually, he got up to a point in which he was within Minseok's reach, and so without hesitation, the robot outstretched his arm, telling Luhan to grab hold of him.

He obeyed with a little bit of difficulty, losing his balance for just a second with a short gasp but still managing to get a good, firm grip on Minseok's arm. The robot then proceeded to use the strength in just one arm to pull the light boy up to the branch next to him with ease. He set him down carefully.

Luhan - now safe in his little spot - gaped, eyes wide and mouth hanging open dumbly. With a thick swallow, he breathed, "Damn...I didn't know I made you that strong." Jongdae thought he may have been imagining it, but he could have sworn he saw redness brush over Luhan's cheeks, even for just a moment.

"I don't think I was aware either," Minseok replied calmly, and Luhan smiled brightly at that, the expression full of that signature sweetness of his, and the breeze just slightly swept through his hair and the light made his face glow and everything seemed perfect for a second.

But then Minseok opened his mouth again, and the question that came out almost left the other boy speechless.

"Luhan," he addressed, and the boy in question just looked at him expectantly, waiting for whatever he had to say.

"What is that? That thing you do when your mouth raises up."

It seemed to take Luhan a moment to even realize what he was being asked, and when he understood, his face fell slowly. "You mean, this?" he asked quietly, and demonstrated a smile that held none of his previous sweetness.

"Yes, that."

Jongdae's heart twisted, and he stared at Luhan's face sadly. This situation was so similar to the one he'd gone through himself, and he knew just how it felt. To say the least, it was not a pleasant thing.

"That's...That means I'm happy," he offered, and his voice was starting to wobble precariously.

"Happy?"

"Yeah." He led his stare away, down towards the ground, but Jongdae could still see the slight glistening of his eyes. "Someday, you'll do it too. I'll make you happy," he promised, and with that crack in his voice and one last blink, a tear rolled down his cheek. He pressed his lips into a line, looking up towards the leaves covering the blue of the sky that summer's day.

"Your eyes are leaking, Luhan," he voiced his concern, reaching over to wipe the tears off of his cheeks, and Luhan couldn't seem to help but laugh, turning back to face Minseok again.

"I am. I'm okay, though. Sometimes us humans do silly stuff like that," he assured him, taking hold of the hand the robot was drying his tears with lightly and pressing a tiny kiss to it.

"Thank you, Minseok," he said sincerely, and Jongdae knew that if the robot could have, he would have felt how real the words were.

The next video hadn't been taken until October 16th, and Luhan seemed to be very tired, reminding Jongdae of the rather similar appearance in one of the earlier videos. He tried to insert enthusiasm into his voice as he talked about adding things related to personality to Minseok like being drawn to physical contact, going to sleep, breathing, and being warm (he didn't explain this one really, and Jongdae still wanted to know how he did it).

On November 12th, he discussed a few bugs and malfunctions he'd fixed, but didn't really smile a whole lot throughout the video, even when Minseok talked with him. As it went on, Jongdae noticed that he kept pressing his fingers to his temples, squeezing his eyes shut. It looked like he had a really bad headache, and when he did cut off the video, it seemed like he'd done it because he needed to go rest.

On November 30th, it was mostly silent.

The only noises were the breeze floating in through the open window, and the occasional soft comment one of them would make. They were laying next to each other on the couch, and it was dark outside, so it was difficult to see Luhan, but he seemed relaxed and almost ready to fall asleep. Jongdae was not exactly sure why he had turned on the camera in the first place, but the sight was somehow calming.

After a while of a view of the trees swaying in the wind outside and the soft sounds of breathing, Luhan almost dozed off, and he realized that he had turned the camera on beforehand, and reached over to shut it off.

_December 25th._

"Minseok," Luhan's voice murmured, and a view of jet black cleared away to reveal him standing over the robot and waiting for him to wake up. Jongdae cocked his head to the side at this sight; apparently Luhan had made it so he could turn on the camera while Minseok was still asleep, and then wake him up afterwards. The stare in his dark eyes looked different than usual, some sort of heavy sadness lurking there.

Minseok sat up in his usual sleeping spot on the couch, a glance towards the window revealing that a blanket of white was draped over the ground outside. "Hey," Luhan's voice whispered, and fingers brushing across Minseok's chin turned his head back to face the boy again.

"Merry Christmas, Minseok," he offered quietly, showing just a glimpse of that bright smile that had been hiding itself for several months now.

"Merry Christmas," Minseok returned, voice unaffected as always, but mimicking the low tone that his inventor was speaking in. There was a small moment of silence where they just looked at each other, Luhan's eyes a mixture of pain and adoration that Jongdae understood more than he would have expected. Then, he opened his mouth again.

"Listen, I've got to go do something, but I'll be back soon, okay? I love you," Luhan murmured, leaning himself forward to press a long kiss to Minseok's forehead. When he stepped away, his arm, enveloped by a large, fluffy sweater, outstretched to turn the camera off.

Solid white followed, and Jongdae just stared at it, not understanding what was happening. His limbs were frozen, and his mouth was glued shut.

It was dead silent for a good while, with just that completely white rectangle of light glowing on the wall, until suddenly, a strange blur swept up from the bottom of the rectangle, and it flickered out.

Jongdae turned to look at Minseok as the room returned to the dim light, and he realized after a second that the strange blur had come from tears rising up, glossing over his bright blue eyes.

"Oh, shit," Jongdae muttered under his breath as he stepped over toward the robot. "What's wrong?" he asked, brushing a few strands of red hair away from his face.

"He never came back," Minseok choked out, staring at the floor with his eyes glistening, spilling tears onto his cheeks. "And it's...it's all my fault."

"What? No, of course not! Minseok..." he cooed, feeling awful for bringing back memories that could now have a painful effect. "Hey, c'mere. Remember this?" he asked, opening his arms up for Minseok to cuddle up against him.

The robot stared for a moment or two, tear-streaked face making Jongdae's heart ache before he shuffled forward to comply, letting himself be held, protected from the way his past suddenly made him _feel_.

"What happened wasn't your fault. You loved him as best you could," he comforted. "It wasn't that it wasn't enough. I just think Luhan...was kind of sensitive, kind of sad. That's just who he was."

Which was only part of the truth, but Jongdae didn't want to make things worse. If he was completely honest, he would tell him that it seemed like Luhan had been hiding something, and that something led to him leaving and never coming back.

He held on a little tighter. He wasn't ever going to leave him like that.

_Never_.

"My eyes are leaking too now."

The remark was muffled into his shirt, but Jongdae heard it loud and clear. He let out a small laugh, shutting his eyes.

"Yeah, they are. But that's okay. You gotta feel like this sometimes to make good things feel better," he reassured him, combing his fingers through his hair. "You'll be alright."

_I know you will._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wOoW this is late lol. It's actually pretty long tho
> 
> Anywayssss I hope you enjoyed this pile of me being emo about poor baby Luhan, Minseok realizing things, etc. hahaHahHaha
> 
> See you soon! c:


	10. Chapter 10

Jongdae watched with sleepy eyes, head resting in his arms as Lu hopped around.

He didn't really have too much space in the makeshift cage of sticks that Minseok had built the other day, but he didn't necessarily seem eager to escape.

The bandaging was still wrapped around his wing tight enough to keep it bound to his side, but not too tight. Jongdae didn't really think it looked like his wing was hurting him, but Lu was an animal, so in the end it was tough to tell.

When would he be able to fly again? Jongdae had to wonder, even if he knew it would be sad to see him go.

Minseok had just fed him (with a little assortment of things he'd found out in the woods, apparently) and when thinking about it, Jongdae couldn't help but consider the last time that he'd eaten actual food himself, which he realized after a moment, he couldn't even remember.

Yeah. That was right. He hadn't even had a taste of anything other than that thick, mucky stuff in what felt like forever.

His eyes drifted over to the window, and a weird feeling came over him. The thought made him long for something with a rich taste, something he could bite down on.

It wasn't to say that he didn't feel satisfied when it came to health or hunger; whatever that tar-colored stuff was actually worked very well in sustaining him. It was just that he missed the taste and texture of real food.

And who could blame him?

Minseok walked back into the room just then, as if on cue, and a wide grin spread across Jongdae's face without him even realizing it.

It took Minseok a second to see the oddly giddy Jongdae sitting there with Lu at his side, but when he did, he raised an eyebrow at him, taking a glance around the room. He could not seem to understand what Jongdae found so amusing.

"What is it, sir?" he prompted, feet planted in their spot.

"I've got something in mind that might be fun," Jongdae explained with glee, pushing himself upright onto his feet before stretching the lethargy out of his limbs with a quiet grunt.

"Fun...alright," Minseok responded halfheartedly, and there was a weird look on his face as he nodded. Jongdae figured he just didn't know what fun meant; he made a mental note to make sure to explain later, when the robot could experience it for himself.

"Would you like to explain your idea, sir?" Minseok requested as he padded over to one of the couches, picking up the jacket that was laying there in case they were to be heading outside; the weather was starting to become a little more chilly each day, and Jongdae was rather sensitive to temperature.

"Well, I was thinking maybe if we went and collected some things up, we could try to make a meal or something. The stove still works, right?" Jongdae asked him, taking a glance over at the kitchen that hadn't been used in who knows how long.

"Are you feeling hungry, sir?" Minseok questioned, now holding the gray jacket by the top and looking disconcerted. "You shouldn't be."

"Not necessarily. I just like how food tastes is all," Jongdae explained, just shrugging and turning around so Minseok could drape the jacket over his shoulders, which the robot picked up on after a few seconds, coming over to wrap it around him loosely.

"I see. Well, if this is something you want, I suppose it could be...'fun', as you said before," Minseok replied, trying to casually use the word in the same context though it was odd for him.

Jongdae laughed very quietly to himself as the robot jogged back into the kitchen to grab something, not wanting to put Minseok down but thinking he sounded a little silly.

"C'mon, lets go. I want to try and find some fun things to cook," he urged him excitedly, shrugging his jacket on further and bouncing towards the door.

"Okay, sir. Please be careful, though," Minseok reminded him, following him out the door with a basket in hand and into the mist beyond.

They headed out side by side, Jongdae sticking his hands in his pockets at the feeling of the chilly air weaving through his fingers. He sighed contentedly, though he was starting to get this weird nagging feeling that he was forgetting something, that there was something he should be doing today.

It never even crossed his mind that it was Thursday, and technically the day he planned to add the next emotion to Minseok.

"Sir, I don't know that there will be very much to collect in terms of food at this time of year," Minseok commented, glancing around at the environment and then down into the small empty basket.

Jongdae nodded silently, almost as if he was in agreement, but continued on, and Minseok just followed him obediently.

It was silent for a while, their footsteps echoing against the trees and into the distance. Jongdae looked over at the robot with the basket in hand walking beside him, and for a reason he would never really know, he pictured him skipping, giggling and frolicking with the basket swinging back and forth.

"Gay," he snorted quietly to himself.

"Gay? As in joyful, or homosexual, sir?"

Jongdae hadn't realized he'd heard, and he nearly choked on his own spit, glancing over at him like a guilty child caught stealing some cookies. "Both," he replied, letting out a small laugh at himself.

They walked together underneath a cloudy sky, taking close looks at their environment. Their eyes were peeled in search of something they could pick, or maybe even hunt, but as the time rolled on, they weren't really finding anything worth taking back.

At one point, Jongdae did find a bunch of dark colored berries that he thought they could use somehow, but unfortunately, Minseok chided him calmly, identifying them as poisonous and shooing his hand away.

There didn't seem to be any sign of animals either. Not that Jongdae thought he actually had the skill to catch one, necessarily. He just thought it was odd.

They were starting to get a little worn out, the late afternoon gradually rolling around, and as time went on, the darkening clouds were starting to cause Minseok to worry that it would rain.

"Sir, we should really go home," he fretted, blue eyes looking up in concern at the sky. "I don't want to risk me malfunctioning, especially because I might not be able to lead you back."

Jongdae sighed in disappointment. Minseok did have a point; getting caught in the rain had the potential of being nothing short of a disaster for the two of them, and the thought (the imagination of the worst case scenario, that is) almost made him shiver in dread.

"Yeah, you're right," he agreed sadly. "Let's go."

Minseok nodded apologetically, turning around and starting their route back to the cabin. It was silent between them again, but this time, it felt more gloomy. The only noise was the cool wind that was beginning to brush through the trees, making Jongdae rub his hands together for warmth.

That feeling of forgetting something was coming back. He racked his brain, just trying to even get some sort of idea what it might be, but for some strange reason, he just couldn't bring it into clear thought.

They had been walking for a pretty good while underneath the ominous sky when suddenly, they both heard a loud rustle echo into the air from close by.

They halted, growing very still, and Minseok's expression quickly morphed into what looked like concentration and concern. They listened closely.

There it was again, louder this time - a rustle of leaves.

A rustle that was definitely not the wind.

Jongdae sucked in a frightened cold breath, and on instinct, Minseok took action immediately, grabbing his wrist firmly and quietly taking them both down to the ground behind the bushes.

They sat down in the shadows amongst the green leaves, and Minseok looked to Jongdae, whose eyes were wide in alarm, and he raised his index finger to his lips, signaling for him to be silent.

The robot turned around, leaning forward in the direction that they'd heard the sound to look out through the leaves. He watched as the leaves of a large, fallen tree some fifteen feet away shook with the movement of something coming through them. It was something big, and he couldn't quite tell what it was yet, but it was coming out of the shadows not far away.

But then it fully emerged into the open air, and his lips dropped open when he realized it was the large, looming figure of a bear, sniffing at the ground. "Oh, no," he whispered almost inaudibly to himself.

_What is it?_ Jongdae wanted to demand, his heart skipping a beat, but he had vowed himself to be silent, refusing to put them in danger.

A few more silent moments of thick tension, and suddenly Minseok whipped around, looking Jongdae right in the eyes.

"Let me take care of this, sir. Stay on your hands and knees and crawl back that way," he ordered, pointing in a direction where the tall bushes continued, and Jongdae could stay hidden.

His tone indicated that he wasn't going to take no for an answer, but even so, Jongdae couldn't help being scared that Minseok might get seriously hurt. "W-What? But what about you?" he whispered hysterically, his eyes big and sparkling with fear as he gripped onto Minseok's wrist like a plea to stay with him.

But to Jongdae's horror, Minseok's eyes were robbed of their stunning pigment, lighting up into a fiery white, and he forcefully shook Jongdae's hand away, his expression remaining stern. "It's not safe. _Go_ ," he growled firmly but quietly, his teeth clenched, and Jongdae was completely frozen in shock, afraid to even breathe.

Minseok looked angry.

He looked wild, in a way that Jongdae never thought a machine could, and in that moment, he was afraid of him.

He finally obeyed, feeling hopeless, frustrated, and just plain scared but still making sure not to be reckless, and remaining as noiseless as he could be as he crawled back to safety.

He stopped once he was far enough back in the bushes, heart pounding against his chest, his panting creating rapid puffs of fog in front of him, and he wished he could see what was going on.

What was Minseok going to do? Was he going to be alright?

And on top of that, what on earth had just happened to him?

He hugged his knees to his chest, trying not to hyperventilate. He bit down on his lip, watching his breaths cloud out from through his teeth in front of him and trying his best to calm himself down.

_It'll be okay. It'll be okay. He knows what he's doing. Everything's going to be fine._

It was so hard to convince himself that, but that was all he could really do right now. He was helpless.

_Please let everything be okay._

He listened very closely, trying to pick up on any possible sounds from Minseok or the bear, and he thought that he may have heard footsteps, but he wasn't sure. What was happening? Had he confronted the animal?

Time ticked on and on, and Jongdae became more and more terrified by the minute.

It was too long since he'd left. Far too long. Something had happened. Something was wrong.

He cursed under his breath. He wanted to check. He wanted to see, but if he got up, he risked making things even worse.

There had to be something wrong.

"Sir."

He gasped loudly and almost girlishly, covering his mouth with his hands as he looked up to see Minseok standing over him in the bushes.

A shaky sigh of relief left his lips at the sight, and he found comfort in the fact that Minseok's eyes glowed a familiar ocean blue again, instead of the white flames that had flickered there before.

"You're okay?" Jongdae asked the robot with a slight stutter as he was offered a hand to help him up off the ground. He earned a calm nod as he slowly and carefully accepted the strong grip, raising himself onto his feet again.

"What happened back there?" he questioned timidly.

"This is not what the bear believes to be its own territory, I presume. Luckily, it was not protective, so I simply led it in the other direction, and then headed off," Minseok explained, picking a burr out of Jongdae's chocolate-colored tufts of hair.

"It just followed you? Just like that? It never seemed scared of you, or like it wanted to attack?" Jongdae asked softly in amazement as Minseok continued to tidy his hair and clothes up. "How did you even?..."

"It remained calm and obedient. I am quite the enigma, if I do say so myself. There were other things I could have done, but I believe Luhan programmed me to be as harmless as I can while still being rid of threat," he remarked, turning around and leading Jongdae out of the bushes and back onto their desired route.

Or at least, he thought that was where he was going to go towards, however, the robot seemed to be heading in a slightly crooked direction.

"Where are you going?" Jongdae asked him, zipping his jacket closed as he felt the wind pick up.

"Well, if there's a bear in a place where there's also water, there is reason to believe there may also be fish, sir," Minseok explained calmly, continuing to walk on, and Jongdae realized as he trotted over to catch up that they were headed in the direction of the creek. "You wanted to cook a meal, correct?

"Yeah. That's right.Wow, that's...really smart. You think there could be fish there?" he questioned him, starting to get a little excited.

"That is my hope, sir."

Jongdae grinned with enthusiasm, despite the wonders still lingering in his brain.

Wonders about an emotion that seemed to be there, but were unmentioned by both Minseok and his inventor.

*****

"How do you turn this thing on?" Jongdae asked, examining the stove to try and find something that would heat up the burners. He didn't want to try and press anything, in fear that he would break it, or do something to that extent.

He chuckled to himself. The guy that could make a machine express human emotions couldn't even figure out how to turn on a stove.

"I believe Luhan said it was the little dials with the white numbers on them," Minseok recalled from the living room.

"Gotcha," he replied, trying out turning the dial on the right up to seven. And, like clockwork, after a few moments, when he held his hand over the right burner, he felt the warmth radiating up into his fingers. "Alright, that worked," he informed Minseok, who brought the small wicker basket holding two fish into the kitchen.

They'd gotten pretty lucky all in all, to say the least.

Without a question, though, the task of catching the fish itself was a disaster; they had both agreed, Jongdae laughing all the while, never to make the mistakes they'd made again, despite each one paying off in the end.

Once he'd set the basket down, Minseok proceeded to take the fish out, and strip them of the undesirable parts. Jongdae watched in fascination, complimenting him quietly on his skill and speed and wondering just how Minseok knew about so many things and how to deal with them. Ultimately, though, he kept that question to himself.

Minseok then got out a pan, and they eventually managed to cook both fish, even though they were sticking to the pan a bit, and the robot couldn't eat the half that would be his if he could (somehow Jongdae was almost positive he'd be eating everything without any leftovers).

When they were finally finished, after checking to make sure it wasn't undercooked and letting it cool, Jongdae dove in, tearing off a generous piece and taking a bite without hesitation, eyelids dropping shut at the feeling of his teeth sinking into the middle.

It wasn't necessarily ideal when it came to flavor, but he was far too blissed out at the fact that it was the feeling and taste of actual, real food to even notice.

He finished the piece happily, wiping his hands on his jeans as he turned to Minseok, who was patiently waiting for the verdict. "It's awesome," he told him, grinning widely and leaning forward to give him a small, gracious hug. "Thanks for this."

"Of course, sir," Minseok replied, leaning his head into Jongdae's neck. "It is my duty."

Jongdae sighed happily, pulling away to look at his innocent face.

There really was no way for him to have a moment where his heart wasn't going to beat out of his chest, was there?

*****

It was getting late again, and Minseok had fallen asleep on the couch the way he always did. Jongdae, having finished his meal a while ago, felt very full now, but he was beginning to feel a different type of need now that Minseok had dozed off.

His need to understand was sinking in again.

Earlier that day, Minseok had seemed to show legitimate anger. His eyes, his clenched teeth, his tone of voice. They all seemed to point straight to anger, but neither Luhan nor Minseok had ever mentioned it being in his system.

Jongdae wondered if he was even right about that. And if he was, was there some other documentation of it? Luhan seemed to like to have somewhere to express his progress and feelings about it, so perhaps anger was a secret emotion that he'd added without Minseok knowing, and he'd written about it somewhere else.

Come to think of it, a while back he had seen a sort of thin book underneath the clothes in one of the dresser drawers, but had disregarded it; it was the morning before he'd added sadness to Minseok, and so he had been too distracted then, but now he thought that it could possibly be something useful.

He made his way up the stairs on his tiptoes, being as quiet as he could. Maybe this could help him understand what had happened today. He hoped so, at least. He's not going to lie; it scared him. A lot.

When he did reach his room, he headed straight over to the dresser, pulling the top drawer open and pushing away the clothes from the bottom right corner of it.

And there it was, exactly the way it had looked when he'd seen it the first time. The same dark gray book, with a long piece of red string wound around it, sitting in the bottom of the drawer.

He reached in and wrapped a hand carefully around the book. He then cautiously unwound the red string, wondering why Luhan may have put it there in the first place but deciding it might not be good to throw it away. He draped the string over the edge of the drawer once it was unwrapped, surprised at how long it actually was.

Then, slowly, he opened it up, and sure enough, round, bubbly handwriting filled the page that could only belong to Luhan.

He silently thanked the universe for being so kind to him, and began to skim down the first page. He looked for anything that may have to do with anger, deciding that he'd read the rest of the journal later.

However, Luhan seemed to be a much more emotional and poetic person in the way he wrote, which Jongdae didn't really think came across in the videos. It caught his attention quickly; he always referred to Minseok lovingly, and Jongdae thought he had a very endearing way of speaking in general.

He also noticed something else quite strange as he flipped through the pages; he seemed to keep referencing things from the past, things that were never in any of the videos and didn't seem to make sense. Not only that, but his words hinted that there was something big that had happened some time before, something sad, based off of the way he talked about it. He never came right out and said what it was, though.

It definitely wasn't anything he'd ever mentioned in the videos, but it seemed extremely important to him. Important enough that Jongdae truly questioned how much of Luhan he really knew based off of those videos.

He was a good deal through the journal now, and he was so distracted trying to figure out what Luhan was really talking about that it totally caught him off guard when he came across what very well could be exactly what he'd been looking for in the first place.

_This morning, I think I saw a fox scurrying around outside through our window while I was sitting in the living room. It made me think about everything that happened to us a couple years ago._

_I made a decision. I added something to Minseok's system that I think is better not to tell him about. It's only to keep him safe if something really bad does happen. I just can't lose everything I've worked so hard to get back._

This sets off a red alarm in his head. Was this related to what happened to Minseok when he'd seen the bear?

_I didn't really want to put anger before other things, which probably wouldn't surprise anyone. It's pretty much the cruel emotion that destroyed everything and brought me here in the first place. But if he can protect himself when there might be danger, I'll never have to feel that pain._

Yes. This is it. Just as he thought.

Anger was there, and to Minseok, it was a secret.

For some people, that would be enough for satisfaction; they were right, case closed. But Jongdae was more curious than people of that sort. He read on.

_I installed a sort of defense mode, one that only turns on when he might have to protect the two of us from harm. He is very strong, so I don't doubt his ability in the slightest. I did design it to try and find a plan with the least amount of violence possible, though. Along with that, I added a setting that makes his eyes glow white when it's activated - something as a warning for me. I want to know what's happening in a time where it might turn on._

_Anyways, it's getting late. Until tomorrow._

Jongdae nodded to himself in understanding, yawning as he read the last sentence. Minseok had sensed imminent danger when he'd seen the bear, and so his "defense mode" had activated, lighting his eyes white and causing him to be short with Jongdae. But, because of the way Luhan had designed it, he hadn't attacked the bear, because he didn't need to.

Luhan and his creation truly were fascinating.

On the ending note of getting late though, Jongdae realized that that was also the case at the present time, and he should probably get some sleep. He grabbed the string from where it hung halfway over the drawer, and was about to wind it back around the journal just like he'd found it when suddenly, he heard a flutter that sounded like it came from laminated paper.

He looked down in confusion, seeing that the book was facing with the pages towards the floor, and because of that, some things had fallen out and floated down next to his feet. He furrowed his eyebrows, bending down to get a better look at them.

But when he realized what they were, his breath caught in his throat.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MwuHahahahhAhhaa cliff hangers. Plus my updates take way too long as always sigh. At least the chapter's long tho :') I don't know why I'm suddenly writing such long chapters for stuff but I love it lol
> 
> Anyways, hope everyone liked it! :) See you soon! c:


	11. Chapter 11

He swore that his heart stopped beating.

_No way. No way in hell._

His fingers accidentally let go of the red string as he reached down to carefully pinch around the corner of one of the little slips on the floor, looking closely at every detail and just trying to understand how, why, or even _if_ he was looking at what he thought he was.

But no matter how hard he stared, or which way he inspected everything, it was exactly what it looked like, laid out right there in front of him.

The small slips scattered at his feet were photographs - a _lot_ of them. And although they looked as good as new, with no trace of folds at the corners and not a speck of dirt on their surfaces, the subjects of these photos would suggest that years had passed since they'd been taken.

Some of them were of Luhan, grinning in absolute joy; something Jongdae wasn't sure he ever truly saw from him in any of the videos. However, most of them were of Minseok.

But for some strange reason, some reason that Jongdae was just trying so hard to understand as he stared, Minseok's eyes were clearly shining with this gorgeous shade of brown, complemented by sunlight and making him look more gentle and kind than Jongdae had ever seen him before.

But that wasn't all. There was something in these pictures that Jongdae had never seen Minseok do before. Not once.

His lips were curled into the sweet curve of a genuine smile.

Jongdae tightened his fingers around the corners of the photo paper, afraid that if he didn't, he'd drop it back to the floor.

This just didn't make a bit of sense. Not one bit. It was actually starting to make him feel kind of sick, and suddenly, he really needed to sit down.

He backed up, feeling clumsily around for the edge of the bed and dropping down onto it as soon as he found it behind him. He laid the book and the photo he'd picked up beside him before taking a deep breath, cradling his head in the palms of his hands, starting to feel overwhelmed.

Human. All of the pictures pointed inevitably to the fact that at some point, Minseok was a human. Able to smile, able to laugh, able to cry. Able to love.

Jongdae shut the photo back into the back of the journal, not able to look at it any longer though many others were spread across the wooden floor.

The whole thing bore a burning question into his mind: if, at some point, Minseok existed as a human, what had happened to that version of him?

What had happened to the Minseok that could smile all on his own?

His head was just spinning with the thought, and a tiny part of his brain was telling him to simply go ask Minseok just what the hell all of this was and what it meant. But most of him knew that that would be a terrible idea; after all, Minseok might not even know what happened at all, and now that he was learning to deal with emotions such as fear and sadness, to suddenly dump the fact that he used to be human on him would be crushing.

No. Jongdae was _not_ going to do that. Definitely not. He was just going to carry on as if he'd never seen anything. His mission had not changed now that he knew this, even if he now also strived to find out what had happened all that time ago.

He raised himself to his feet, bending over to pick up the many photos spilled out onto the floor, and then sliding them back in between the journal's pages. There. Right back where they were before. Like he'd never seen them at all.

He flopped himself onto the bed, hugging the journal to his chest and staring up at the ceiling.

So, had Luhan known Minseok as a human, and recreated him as a robot? Or was it something more complicated and even more strange than that? He simply couldn't help but wonder.

He shut his eyes, trying not to let his mind wander on all the possibilities right that moment. He'd found out about several crazy things within the past day, and it was really starting to get to his head. In fact, he kind of felt emotionally drained, and was just about ready to pass out.

If he could just understand, maybe things wouldn't be so hard. If he could only _understand_. That's the last thing that really ran through his mind, the last coherent thing that he thought as he stretched his lips open wide in another exhausted yawn.

If he could only understand...

*****

The next morning, he was not awoken by any sound or sensation in particular, but as fate would have it, he found himself staring, for the second time that week, into bright blue eyes blinking at him from right above his face.

He gasped in shock, and his legs would have rocketed him right smack into the headboard _again_ had Minseok not grabbed his shoulders, calmly remarking, "You'll hit your head again, sir."

He swallowed thickly, taking one hand and wrapping it around a strong arm to gently move it off of him. "Right. Can you not wake me up like that anymore, Minseok? You're gonna give me a heart attack," he complained weakly in exasperation, sighing and sitting up.

"Forgive me, sir. It was how I used to wake Luhan up. He did the laughing thing when I did it, so it became a habit," he explained calmly.

Jongdae's stomach twisted at the mention of that name, and he gulped again. That was when he and Minseok both seemed to realize the slightly strange thing about this scene, considering Jongdae had just woken up.

"What is that?" Minseok asked, pointing to the book that Jongdae still had clutched firmly to his chest.

_Oh, shit._

"Nothing! Absolutely nothing. I just...keep my thoughts in it is all," he blurted out, feigning a stupid smile and holding onto the book even tighter if possible to make sure that there was no way Minseok could ever see what was inside.

The robot simply nodded, incapable of being suspicious, and accepted the answer. "If you say so," he replied. "So, I came this morning to give you a reminder," he added.

Jongdae raised an eyebrow. "Of what?" he asked. He didn't remember asking Minseok to remind him of anything. Then again, he supposed that'd be why he would need reminding in the first place.

"Well, I was under the impression that you were to add my next emotion yesterday, but you never did. I thought that I would ask you, in case you forgot," he explained, and Jongdae sobered up when he realized that Minseok was right.

He knew he'd been forgetting something when they headed out into the forest yesterday. It had just never completely surfaced, and in the end, he'd just forgotten all about it completely.

But this was good. He may be a day later than he'd previously hoped, but working on an emotion would be a good way to lead his mind away from the strange and confusing thoughts those photographs had brought him the night before. To distract him, quite simply.

"You're right. I did forget; thank you, Minseok," he responded gratefully, things now coming back to him one by one. That's right; he'd planned this emotion out beforehand just for the fun of it. It was more of a small detail, really, but he just couldn't help himself, and if it let him get away from his thoughts, it was good enough.

He climbed out of bed, bending down to reach for the string he'd dropped on the floor so he could wrap up the book quickly. Then, he slipped it back into the top dresser drawer where he'd found it, and shut it tight. Minseok couldn't see those pictures. And he wouldn't. Jongdae wouldn't let him.

Wordlessly, they started to walk beside each other, making their way towards the basement with unhurried steps. It was something that was starting to become a routine now, as if they'd been doing it for a longer time than it had actually been.

Jongdae stole a glance over at Minseok, almost tripping over himself as he took too long of a look at his bright blue eyes, and he really did wonder: what was the robot like? As a human. He wore such a joyful smile in all of those pictures, and it initially painted him in Jongdae's own mind as a bright, happy person. But then again, Luhan had also worn a smile full of light in those pictures, one that he'd never quite matched in the videos of him from Minseok's system.

Part of him felt wistful, wishing that perhaps human Minseok was still out there somewhere, and Jongdae could experience him as a true person. But on the other hand, he felt almost guilty for thinking that; it was definitely weird to think about, but he knew that the human Minseok from the past couldn't have been the same as his Minseok.

They looked the same, sounded the same, yes, but he knew they weren't really the same being. He knew that he'd never had to chance to be close to Minseok as a human, and so the being that he loved and cared for was a new personality, one that he was now completing the creation of.

It made him realize that he could never quite finish Luhan's project, his true mission completely, because he had never known the person he was trying to recreate. This Minseok he was finishing belonged partly to Luhan, but also very much to him.

And to be honest, he wasn't really sure if he was happy with that or not.

They reached the very familiar basement, and Minseok walked over to the table routinely, climbing up and lying down flat on his back.

"Alright, I'm giving you a little break this week because I added sadness last time," Jongdae explained as he approached, thankful for the fact that he wouldn't have to get himself organized because he'd already done it beforehand.

"Okay," Minseok replied, still getting a little bit anxious, which Jongdae noticed from the speed of his breathing.

He came forward, lacing their fingers together like always. "Alright, I'm turning you off now," he warned, undoing the top two buttons of Minseok's shirt and pulling the collar of it out of the way. The robot shut his eyes in response, taking one last deep breath before Jongdae pressed the blue button, powering him down.

Okay. It was time to forget all of those thoughts: anything and everything about human Minseok. At least for right now.

He had to focus on doing this right, just like always.

Thankfully, for the most part, this emotion really was a break from some of the more complex ones, for both him and Minseok. It wasn't too complicated, really, except for a part that was a little odd when it came to physical response. It did take him some toying with it to get things to a place where he felt like everything would work correctly when he turned Minseok back on, but that was not unusual, and he found himself finishing up much earlier than he may have expected. Who knew; maybe it was even still light outside. He decided he'd check when they went back upstairs.

Eventually, he just about felt as comfortable as he could get with how the results might turn out, and he grinned in anticipation. He was going to have a little bit of fun with this one.

He reached forward, pressing the darkened blue button, and it began to glow again, Minseok's eyes flicking open not too long after. "How did everything go, sir?" he asked, slowly pushing himself up into a sitting position and taking an idle glance around the room.

"I'm pretty confident, actually," Jongdae returned truthfully, organizing his tools the way they usually sat. "I've just got a good feeling about this one."

"That's good to hear, sir," the robot replied, watching him straighten up the table.

"I think so too. Hey, Minseok," he started, turning back to him, and the other waited expectantly. "You can call me by my name, you know. We know each other well enough for me not to be 'sir' anymore, don't you think?" he asked him, smiling kindly.

Before, Minseok would have simply taken this in stride, asking politely for his name considering that funnily enough, Jongdae had never told him what it was. However, for a reason that only Jongdae knew, there was something quite different that happened in its place.

Minseok's face started to turn red, and he was a little concerned at the fact that he could feel his cheeks rising in temperature. "I...I'm sorry...what is your name?" he asked quietly, and he couldn't figure out why it becoming difficult for him to speak all of a sudden.

"My name is Jongdae. Would you like to call me that instead?" Jongdae asked, absolutely giddy on the inside but trying so hard to be very chilled out and casual about the whole situation. _Yes. This is literally exactly what I was going for. True happiness is real._

"Yes, I- I would like that, sir. I mean...Jongdae," Minseok replied, and his face was becoming even hotter by the second. Not to even mention that usually, eye contact was just a natural thing for him, but he couldn't seem to look Jongdae in the face for some reason. "Excuse me for...for that," he mumbled out afterwards, staring at the wall.

"Don't worry about it. You'll have to get used to it; I understand that," Jongdae reassured him. Minseok didn't seem to be very comforted though, still avoiding Jongdae's eyes.

_Oh god. He's so cute. What have I done to myself?_

"Hey, look at me," he directed gently, placing a hand on either side of his face and guiding him back up to look him in the eyes. Minseok blinked at him, face still blood red. "It's alright," he told him.

Minseok really was trying to respond to him, truly, but there was just _something_ standing in his way, making his thoughts jumble up and his breath get caught in his throat. Gradually and with effort, his breathing became deep as he tried to ward off this unfamiliar feeling, but he still couldn't think coherently. "I'm sorry, J-Jongdae. I can't seem to think of what to say," he apologized. "Perhaps there was an error-"

"No. This is supposed to happen," Jongdae assured him, now allowing himself to smile and looking all too pleased. "You're cute when you're embarrassed," he added as a way of explanation, winking.

_Note to self - tone down Minseok's blushing feature at some point this week. I'm afraid his face might start to melt otherwise._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SLOW AF UPDATES WOOHOO
> 
> But I think this is an okay length. Plus, how'd you like that plot twist thoooo
> 
> Well, regardless of my usual lateness, I hope you enjoyed and that everyone has a great rest of their day. See you soon! c:


	12. Chapter 12

Jongdae slid his fingers over both the back and cover of the journal, letting the pages fall open so he could search for the furthest point to which he'd previously read.

It was extremely windy that day, more than enough to keep him inside. Minseok, however, was currently out collecting food for Lu, and Jongdae would have offered to accompany him if he didn't get cold so easily.

Instead, he'd decided to look through the journal some more while the robot was out. After all, there was a possibility that he might find more about what happened to Minseok when he was a human.

He took his time so he could read thoroughly through each page, all of Luhan's feelings spilled out onto the lines in curly letters that made him seem far more innocent than Jongdae was figuring him out to be.

Oddly enough, it seemed as if he purposely avoided saying anything that had happened explicitly. He'd imply something, whether it was big or small (he did that a lot, actually) but he'd never come out and say what truly happened.

There were a few more pages he read through, discussing little things like Luhan had talked about in the videos, like breathing and dreaming and blinking, but after that, Jongdae found himself staring at blank paper, empty lines the only thing visible.

"What?" he muttered, confused. _Nothing about him leaving?_ _That seems a little weird._ And unfortunately, Luhan didn't date his entries, so Jongdae didn't know if he'd stopped writing in the book a while before he'd left for good, or if he had just neglected to write down his decision.

It just seemed so odd; there was about a quarter of the book left, and it cut off so abruptly. Jongdae started to flip through the empty pages just to make sure, looking for any other note, or just _something_ , even if it wasn't really of any importance.

And just after he was about to give up, but decided against it, he reached a page with writing on it.

The very last page of the entire book.

His eyebrows knitted together as he read the first words.

_Minseok,_

_I was told by an old friend recently that maybe it would help me to write to you. I don't really know what's good for me anymore, but I suppose it can't hurt._

His lips dropped open. Something written to Minseok, the human Minseok. Or at least, that's what Jongdae assumed. It made him hopeful; maybe he could actually get some answers out of this. He read on with interest.

_I wanted to tell you I'm sorry. For not paying attention, fore getting angry at you, for all those horrible things my dad said to you. You deserved so much better than that, and I guess I just was arrogant enough to think I could give it to you._

_And I'll never stop loving you. I'll always love you, even if you did get confused sometimes, even if you did always fall asleep before the end when we watched movies together, even if you did have a habit of holding my hand so tight when you were scared that I thought it would go numb. Even if you're gone now._

_I still can't believe I ruined everything. And all because I was scared to leave._

_I can never apologize enough. Never. I should've realized that the only place I could ever belong was with you, but I didn't. I messed up._

_And I don't think you'd want me to do what I'm doing, but it's the only thing that can make me happy again. I'm sorry. I can never belong anywhere else._

_On January 17th, I'll see you again. Just take care till then, okay? I love you._

_Luhan_

Jongdae frowned. 

That was it. He'd reached the end of the journal, and he still didn't understand anything.

_Damn it, Luhan. I'm not smart enough for all your metaphors and vagueness. Some people need things spelled out for them, you know?_

Before he could have another thought, the sound of a door being opened rang out from downstairs, and he scrambled to his feet, shoving the book underneath clothes in the dresser again and shutting the drawer quickly.

He hurried as quietly as possible out of his room and then proceeded to make his way down the stairs, expecting to see Minseok in he living room when he reached the last one. He was about to start asking a question as he jogged down, but just as he opened his mouth, he reached the bottom of the stairs.

He halted before his sentence could even form, words caught in his throat, and he was completely frozen at the sight he found himself looking at. It was Minseok standing in the doorway with the basket that he'd left with, but something was very off.

He had another person with him.

It was a guy, and Jongdae thought he was probably about the same age as him, although he did look a little older. But that may have had something to do with the fact that he was _tall,_ and had a jawline sharp enough to slit someone's throat. He also had incredibly strong-looking arms, and dark eyes that felt like they could stare right into your mind and watch your thoughts.

Jongdae probably would've been pretty intimidated by him if he hadn't been wincing. He probably would have been even more intimated by him if Minseok wasn't somehow giving him a piggy-back ride.

_That guy is huge, and Minseok is anything but. How is he even managing?_

The robot didn't stop to explain himself though, and it occurred to Jongdae just then that neither of the two had even noticed him yet, despite him standing in plain sight.

He inched backwards quietly, just so he was slightly in the shadows. Maybe he should observe for a moment before trying to say anything.

Minseok had brought the injured stranger over to the couch in pure obliviousness, careful as ever, and the stranger groaned quietly in pain as he slid off of Minseok's back and onto the couch.

Minseok gently took hold of his foot, adjusting its position and trying to make him as comfortable as possible. "Forgive me, sir. Does this feel a little better?" he asked as he angled the man's ankle a little differently, and a look of slight relief crossed the other's sharp face.

Jongdae wasn't going to lie to himself. It was a little weird, a little disheartening even to hear Minseok speak to someone else just like he would speak to him, but he pushed the thought away.

"Yeah, that's a little better. Thank you," said the man, and Jongdae did a double take at that, because _damn_ was his voice low. "I'm sorry about all this."

"It's really not a problem," Minseok assured him. "Is there someone who can come get you? I can take care of you if not, but it would be ideal to put you in better care," he explained.

"I mean, I guess my girlfriend could," the stranger provided before trying to stifle another small hiss of pain. "It's gonna take her a while to get here though."

"That's alright. Would you rather call her tomorrow? I can take care of this tonight so you don't make it worse. Bring you medicine and whatnot. Then she can come and get you tomorrow, sir," Minseok told him.

_Responsibility._

The same thing that had saved Jongdae. It made him wonder what exactly had happened to this guy; their situations were so similar, really. The only thing was that Jongdae had been unconscious during his accident.

"If that would be okay with you. Gosh, I can't thank you enough for this. I'm so lucky you were passing by," he commented, a little breathless. "I'm Chanyeol, by the way."

"Pleased to meet you," Minseok offered, raising himself to his feet. "My name is Minseok."

It was at this moment that the robot seemed to spot Jongdae hiding in the shadowed side of the room, and he was opening his mouth to address him when Jongdae's stomach flipped in fright and he interrupted him.

"Who's this?" he asked, nerves biting at his voice. He gestured to Chanyeol, walking out into the light as if he hadn't been there the entire time. _That was close,_ he thought to himself. He couldn't have Minseok saying his name so freely.

The stranger whipped around in surprise at the new sound of his voice, biting the inside of his lips in pain but being so startled that it didn't matter much.

"This is Chanyeol," he informed him calmly. "He's injured his ankle. Seems to have a pretty nasty break, actually. I didn't want him trying to hike his way out of the trees, so I offered him a hand."

"Ah, I see," Jongdae responded as if he hadn't actually heard the entire thing from just feet away. "Well, why don't you get him some medicine then? I'd like to speak with him for a moment," he suggested, giving Chanyeol a stare that threw the young man off even more than Minseok's (which, obviously, was saying something).

"I suppose you're right," Minseok replied. "I'll be back shortly," he told Chanyeol dutifully before starting to make his way towards the basement.

However, before he could leave completely, Jongdae took hold of the hem of his shirt and pulled him close as subtly as possible. "Don't say my name for now, okay?" he whispered, his voice really not even audible to any ears other than Minseok's.

The robot understood, but didn't seem to get why he would ask that of him. "But...you said-"

"I know what I said," he interrupted softly. He supposed that it might be confusing to Minseok, and he felt a little bad, but Jongdae didn't want to risk people he knew being told of his whereabouts. He'd make sure to explain later. "Just call me something else until he leaves. Please," he added, and Minseok seemed to pick up from his tone that whatever the reason was, it was pretty important.

"Okay," he agreed softly, and then in the next moment, he was gone, off to fetch whatever medicine he was talking about before.

Jongdae turned himself, walking over to the couch, and as he slid his hand along the cushion, he looked their unexpected visitor in the face. "So, you're Chanyeol then," he said, and though he really didn't mean for it to, it came out sounding a little intimidating.

Chanyeol gulped visibly. "Yep," he responded, nodding. "The one and only."

"How'd you injure yourself?" Jongdae questioned. He was trying his best to sound more casual, because that's how his natural personality was, and he wasn't sure why his voice was coming out rather hostile.

Chanyeol shrugged. "I was just climbing, slipped, and my ankle had to suffer the consequences. Just me not paying enough attention, really," he explained indifferently. "You know something, though?"

Jongdae crossed his arms over his chest. "Yeah?" he deadpanned.

Chanyeol turned himself a little bit, wincing slightly as his ankle sunk into a painful position. He fixed it with a small noise of discomfort before looking back around again. "You look kinda like that guy that's been missing," he told him. "Kim Jung...no, that's not right. It's something like that, though."

Jongdae stared at him, his heart rate beginning to pick up as it occurred to him what Chanyeol was talking about, and he realized that this was exactly what he was afraid of. And one thing was for sure: he was not about to trust this stranger with the truth. "Nah, I'm not missing. I'm right where I want to be. And my name is Luhan," he lied, trying not to sound nervous.

_Breathe steadily. He's going to know you aren't telling the truth if you don't._

However, although Chanyeol seemed to believe him, it proved to be the wrong lie to tell, because the tall man's eyes widened in shock.

_"Luhan?"_ he repeated incredulously, gaping. "No fuckin' way! You're that crazy rich guy that tried to run away with his husband, like, _years_ ago, right? Damn. I didn't even think you were gay, man," he chuckled. "I mean, not that I have a problem with it or anything, but holy shit. How long have you been out here?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Jongdae stopped him, frowning deeply. What the hell _was_ he talking about? Whatever it was, he did not like the sound of it. "You've got the wrong guy," he assured him.

Chanyeol raised an eyebrow at him. "So you're not him? You sure? 'Cause come to think of it, I'm pretty sure Minseok was the husband's name," he insisted, pointing towards the staircase that the robot had disappeared into to signal that's who he was talking about. "C'mon, he acts weird now 'cause the accident, right?"

"What? No! There's nothing wrong with him," Jongdae argued protectively, furrowing his eyebrows and clenching his fists at his sides. "You seriously have the wrong guy, okay?" he insisted, and before Chanyeol could swear on god knows what that he knew what he was talking about, Minseok entered the room again, silencing them both.

He had a small clear container of what looked like little capsules in his hands, and that's when Jongdae remembered.

_Right. Medicine. Maybe - hopefully - it'll shut this guy up. I really don't like what he's saying right now._

Jongdae pressed his lips into a thin line as the robot seemed to immediately notice the tense atmosphere hanging around the room, even though he hadn't heard anything either of them were saying (or at least, Jongdae hoped he hadn't). "Is there something wrong, sir?" Minseok asked cautiously.

"No," Jongdae and Chanyeol replied in unison, casting a dark glance at each other afterwards as if both of them had just insulted the other.

Minseok didn't believe their answer in the slightest, but he didn't ask again. He simply made his way over to Chanyeol's side obediently, opening the little box of capsules to offer him one.

Chanyeol hesitantly took one in between his long fingers, his expression looking a little distrustful for just a moment before he asked politely for a glass of water. Minseok just nodded calmly, proceeding to go into the kitchen to fetch one.

Meanwhile, Chanyeol and Jongdae were having a borderline stare-down in the living room, one during which they never spoke, but it was very clear how uneasy things were.

Minseok only pretended to be oblivious. He knew something was up, and he kept a watchful eye on Chanyeol at all times.

It was only logical that he would automatically side with Jongdae. It was by default. Jongdae was putting him together week by week, just like Luhan had, and so loyalty was simply the obvious choice.

Thankfully, the intense staring contest seemed to be harmless and leading nowhere, and the robot returned peacefully with the glass of water, handing it to Chanyeol who kept glancing over at Jongdae the entire time that he was taking the pill.

"Thank you," he said to Minseok after he'd swallowed it.

"No problem, sir."

The tension between the two was so weird, especially because they'd never met before. They just couldn't stop sneaking little glares at each other, as if it gave them some sense of gratification.

Minseok knew he would have to keep his guard up for the night.

*****

Jongdae laid in the dark, staring intently up at the ceiling with his arms wrapped around himself. It was the middle of the night, and as embarrassing as it was, he just couldn't sleep. 

He felt unsettled. He felt like there was something off.

It wasn't that anything in particular had gone wrong after Minseok had come back from the basement. In fact, for some odd reason, the robot had had a boot tucked away somewhere for Chanyeol to walk in so he didn't hurt his ankle further, and the tall man had accepted it with words of gratitude. He'd had some snacks in the small backpack he'd been wearing on his hike, and he'd eaten them in place of a big meal when dinnertime rolled around.

And that was it. Nothing suspicious.

But there was just something that was making Jongdae feel uncomfortable. Something about the looks Chanyeol had been giving him. He sighed, turning over in bed and staring out the window. He wished he could just go to sleep.

A noise that sounded like a creak of the floorboards echoed out behind him all of a sudden, and his eyes widened as his head whipped around. He scanned the room nervously, his muscles tightening and itching in an instinct to get the hell up and run for the hills.

No sight of anything.

_Maybe I just imagined it?_

He rolled back over, holding tight to the covers and curling up into a comfortable position on his side. He was just being paranoid. That's all. Nothing was going to happen.

His eyelids fluttered shut, and he tried to slow his breathing, guiding his mind to think about peaceful things, like the sound of rain pattering on a roof. A radio playing quietly in a nearby room. The soft hum of the heat flowing from the vents in his childhood home miles and miles away.

He was beginning to drift off thankfully, tense limbs relaxing as if he really was at home when to his dismay, he heard another noise at the edge of his room.

He turned his body over lazily this time, not really expecting to see anything except maybe Minseok.

Which was why his heart jumped wildly into his throat when he saw a tall, dark figure, just standing in his doorway, watching him.

His stomach turned unpleasantly. He didn't know if he should speak or not, or if Chanyeol even knew he was awake, but before he could even think about it much longer, the deep voice rang out into his room.

"Hey, dude. I have to ask you something."

He swallowed thickly, trying to find his voice in his throat to say anything back. "What?" he replied, and though he tried his best to sound more strong and intimidating like he had earlier that day, the fear cracked through his voice involuntarily.

The dark, looming figure walked further into the room without an invitation, the sound of the boot on his foot ringing out against the wooden panels, and Jongdae sat up, gripping tight to his sheets insecurely and feeling a little dizzy.

"Are you sure you aren't that guy I mentioned? The one who's missing?" he questioned, and his tone was low and borderline threatening. "Kim Jong...whatever it was."

Before Jongdae could even think to open his mouth, he felt a hand gripping the collar of his shirt forcefully, yanking him up onto his feet with impressive strength.

In their position, Chanyeol holding him so ominously close in his unforgiving grip, he was forced to look him in the face, and the expression on his sharp face was so serious.

"No," Jongdae lied, trying to slowly inch away without him noticing. "I told you, I'm Luhan. I'm not him."

Chanyeol scoffed. " _Really?"_ he asked knowingly, smirking at how afraid Jongdae was of him. "Because I bet there's some people who'd be real happy to help out the son of a bitch who finds him," he pointed out darkly.

"And I sure could use a favor."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wOW.
> 
> yeah I'm uh...not even gonna say anything
> 
> ExCePt that I have a braaand new yoonmin fic called Empty Skies!! So if you're interested, please check it out 'cause I've worked so hard on it so far omg
> 
> See you soon! c:


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKERS
> 
> YA GIRL'S BACK

_"Really?_ Because I bet there are some people who'd be real happy to help out the son of a bitch who finds him. And I sure could use a favor," he murmured, clenching tighter to the neck of Jongdae's shirt.

And the smaller boy knew. He knew he was done for. History. He'd been trapped; Chanyeol could beat the absolute shit out of him and then some if he so desired.

But despite that, he stuck firmly to his lie, holding onto the tiny chance that maybe he could make it out of this situation. "I know what my name is," he insisted boldly, wrapping his fingers around Chanyeol's wrist defiantly even though he knew it would probably earn him a good beating.

Chanyeol chuckled at that. "Fair enough. We'll just have to see if there's anyone else who knows your name, hm?" he replied, reaching for something in his back pocket. "Don't worry. I'll say goodbye to your little boyfriend for you."

"How rude."

Both of them froze.

The new but familiar voice bounced off of the walls, startling them both into complete, eery stillness, and a tense silence filled the room.

"I treat you with hospitality, and you make threats when you think I'm asleep," the voice scolded lowly, breaking through the motionless atmosphere, and into the light stepped Minseok.

And it was not difficult to tell just how unamused he was with what he was witnessing.

Chanyeol was surprised for a moment, but there was no guilt in it, and a small smirk met his lips soon afterward as he stared down at Minseok without letting go of Jongdae's shirt. "I'm not exactly a saint," he agreed. "But I don't mind."

Minseok's expression did not change in the slightest, and Jongdae had no idea how the moon glowing into his blue eyes wasn't making Chanyeol even the slightest bit frightened. "Well. I hate to break it to you, but I do," he deadpanned. "So if you could get your hands off of him, I'd appreciate it greatly."

Chanyeol snickered at that. "Right. Roger that, squirt. But what are you gonna do if I don't?" he asked smugly. "You're not exactly at an advantage here."

"Are you threatening me now?" Minseok questioned, stepping forward bravely and subtly pushing his sleeves up on his arms a few inches. "Because I don't recommend doing that."

"Oh, yeah? And what are you gonna do about it?" Chanyeol sneered in amusement. "You're smaller than my twelve year old cousin."

"Are you implying that you'd like to find out?"

"I am, actually," Chanyeol challenged, sporting a grin that spread sickeningly across his face.

Minseok took another step forward despite that, unfazed and unhesitant. "Fine then," he replied after a moment. "But I'll tell you something first."

Another small step forward, but Chanyeol was not beginning to back down even in the slightest.

"Keep your hands to yourself, and you'll be safe."

The space between them was shrinking, and Chanyeol pushed a wide-eyed, frozen Jongdae back onto his bed carelessly so he had two free hands, never breaking eye contact with Minseok.

"But if you hurt him," the robot hissed, "If you even  _touch_  him again..."

One last step.

"I will not hesitate to snap your neck."

That's when an involuntary fiery white filled his eyes like a burning star, and he looked bone-chilling, just as Jongdae remembered, as he pulled his fist back and then swung it forward into Chanyeol's chest.

The robot didn't even have to use all of his strength to send Chanyeol flying back all the way into the wall, his head banging up against it with a loud thud.

The wood creaked dramatically under his weight combined with pure force, and Chanyeol slid down so he was slumped forward on the floor, groaning and coughing from the impact. He raised his head up weakly, his face mixed with a small wince and a stare of terror at Minseok, who took a step forward again, causing Chanyeol to flinch.

"Is that clear?" he asked lowly.

Chanyeol nodded, horrified as Jongdae watched in awe.

Just how strong did Luhan make him?

"Now get out of here," he ordered sternly, pointing towards the open door as if he was scolding a child.

Chanyeol looked helpless, and Jongdae thought it was kind of a funny way to see someone who'd just been threatening him barely even a minute ago. The tall man clenched his teeth, grunting with effort as he pushed himself onto his one good foot and then placed the boot down afterwards.

He took nervous side glances at Minseok as he started to limp out of the room, and the robot followed him calmly, his eyes dimmed down back to their normal hue.

Chanyeol didn't look like he was pleased with that at all, but it wasn't like he was going to argue with Minseok at that point. Not a chance.

Jongdae sat, his fingers gripping weakly at the covers as he watched them go, and then listened to their footsteps lead down the stairs and to the door, which he heard open with a creak.

Several silent moments passed, and Jongdae thought that Chanyeol was probably way out the door and Minseok was done speaking to him, but he was proved wrong when he heard the robot's voice call after him, "Don't come back!" before the door shut again.

He pulled the blanket to his chest as he soon heard footsteps coming back up the stairs, and when Minseok appeared once more in the doorway, he wasn't really sure what to say to him.

The robot simply stood there, gripping the doorframe, and oddly enough, something akin to guilt seemed to be holding him back from saying anything, or even walking inside. Jongdae didn't really remember adding the sort of sub-emotion of guilt when he worked on sadness, but then again, he'd been working for hours. Maybe he had, and had just forgotten about it.

"I apologize," Minseok said suddenly, pulling him from his thoughts. "I should have been more judicious when I found him yesterday. What just happened was my fault."

Jongdae smiled sadly at him.

_He doesn't even know how to smile himself, but there's something in him that makes him stay loyal to me._

_I really can't complain._

He patted the spot next to him in gesture, and Minseok quickly got the message, obediently padding over to sit himself down on the mattress with a squeak of the springs that echoed into the quiet room.

"What made you hit him?" Jongdae asked softly, after a moment of silence. "What made you so upset?"

Minseok turned to make eye contact with him upon hearing those questions, and at first, it almost looked like he wasn't really sure of the answers himself.

But then he opened his mouth again, and what came out definitely surprised Jongdae.

"Luhan always said humans are far more dangerous than anything else in the world," Minseok explained. "They destroy with empty heads. They take because they are selfish. If a human loses my trust, I have to make them fear me, or I will lose everything."

Jongdae blinked.

Minseok seemed so wise in that moment. Like a being that had seen the world time and time again, observing, making his own judgements and mistakes and learning from them. It was hard to explain, but frankly that's what Minseok always seemed to be.

Jongdae tried to even find a word to start responding to him, but everything in his head was just jumbled together, and he ended up just sighing and changing the subject.

"Well, I've gotta thank you. This is the second time in the past couple of days you've saved my sorry ass," he remarked, chuckling half in amusement and half in embarrassment.

Minseok shook his head sincerely. "No need to thank me. This is what I was made for."

For whatever reason, the words seemed to have a certain finality to them, and so, paired with the robot standing up from the bed, it seemed to Jongdae like the conversation was over, and Minseok was going to leave.

But it also seemed that Minseok was full of surprises tonight, because when Jongdae brought his legs back onto the mattress and scooted over to lay his head on his pillow, he soon realized that Minseok had simply walked over to sit on the floor, his back up against the wall.

"What're you doing?" he asked in confusion, on the verge of a yawn.

"Guarding you for the night, sir," the robot replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Unless you'd prefer I sleep on the couch."

Jongdae shook his head. "No. I want you to stay," he told him honestly, his cheeks getting a little hot. "But, um...you should come sleep here," he added, patting the mattress much like he had before.

Minseok slowly pushed himself up onto his feet again. "Are you sure?" he asked, just to be certain.

"Yeah," Jongdae replied timidly. "I don't wanna sleep alone," he confessed, pulling the covers down as a way of invitation.

Minseok nodded in understanding, padding over to the bed and climbing in with what felt like familiarity even though it was the first time they'd really done this. Unless you count the time they'd dozed off next to each other on the couch, which Jongdae doesn't.

He watched silently as Minseok snuggled up next to him, pulling the covers over his body. Things seemed gentle and domestic like that, Jongdae thought. He wished it was what it seemed.

"Oh yeah, and um..." he mumbled, staring up at the ceiling as if maybe it would grant him self confidence. Which, he did realize was a bit silly, considering that he was talking to a robot.

"You can just call me Jongdae again," he finally managed to say, fidgeting with the bedsheets, feeling them between his fingers as he peeked over at Minseok, whose soft hair swept out onto the pillow and hands felt the soft blankets as he curled up into the mattress and blinked back at him.

"Okay, Jongdae," he murmured eventually, shutting his blue eyes peacefully.

Jongdae smiled, tugging the blanket just a little further over himself before closing his eyes and letting his head sink down into the pillow.

And maybe if he wasn't so tired, it would scare him that the sounds of rain, the warmth of the place where he grew up no longer crossed his mind. Perhaps it would scare him that the only thing he could think of now to help lull him to sleep was how comforting Minseok's presence felt next to him.

*****

When he woke up the next morning, soft rays of light peeking through the window and reaching out to his eyes, he honestly almost expected to be cuddled up against Minseok's mysteriously warm body. He always did have a habit of clinging to anyone who was sleeping near him.

Which was why he was a little disappointed to find that Minseok was no longer curled up next to him.

He sighed, rolling over and listening for a sign that Minseok had gone somewhere else in the house, and sure enough, he was pretty sure he could hear a few creaks coming from downstairs.

With a grunt, he lifted himself up from the mattress, the covers sliding off of him as he climbed onto his feet with more effort than it probably should have taken.

Before he left, though, he did take another glance out the window to look at the time of day, and from what he remembered, Minseok usually didn't wake up until it was a little lighter outside than this.

_I really hope he didn't get up because I was laying all over him when he was trying to sleep._

He trudged out into the hall, yawning widely even though he was pretty sure he'd gotten plenty of sleep last night with the extra warmth beside him. Now that he thought about it, maybe it was even earlier in the morning than he'd thought.

Or maybe he'd fallen asleep much later than he'd thought. It was hard to tell, really, considering that ever since he'd been there, he hadn't paid much attention to the time.

"Hey, Minseok," he greeted with another little yawn when he did reach the bottom of the wooden stairs, rubbing his eyes endearingly as he shuffled into the living room.

Things remained dead silent for a while afterwards, and to his surprise, when he looked up, all he saw was a tuft of hair peeking out over the top of the couch.

It reminded him a bit of the day he'd first met Minseok in an eerie sort of way, and he felt his heartbeat stutter in his chest at the thought.

_Plus, I thought I just heard him walking around down here. I swear I did. Did I really imagine that?_

He swallowed thickly. Not only that, but to his deep concern, he didn't hear even the faintest sound of breathing.

The same sound that had brought him so much fear on that very first day was now gone, and this time, the absence of it was what scared him.

"Minseok?" he called out, jogging over nervously to the other side of the couch so he could get a look at him. And when he saw him, he sucked in a startled breath, freezing.

His blue eyes were open.

Wide open. Like little doors that lead to another dimension, one that held the heart not of a robot, but of a gentle human.

And yet, he moved not, and the glow in that familiar shade of blue was gone.

It scared Jongdae out of his fucking mind for a moment, to the point where he thought his knees might buckle, but thankfully he realized before having a complete mental breakdown that the robot might have just been off for some reason.

_I really hope that's all it is._

He bent forward tentatively, a little afraid of what he might see, but eventually he did pull the collar of Minseok's shirt down so he could get a look at the power button.

He let go of a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, silently rejoicing when he saw that much like Minseok's eyes, the blue glow in the power button was absent.

With a loud, relieved sigh, he simply pushed the button like he always did, watching the robot's irises light up familiarly and letting go of his shirt when he started to breathe and blink again.

"Good morning," he murmured to the now conscious robot, smiling pleasantly and placing a hand on his shoulder.

He waited patiently for a response, but Minseok just stared at him blankly, silent.

He waited a little longer, wondering if maybe being off for a while was just disconcerting and he needed a moment to collect his thoughts, but even as the seconds ticked on, Minseok never said a word.

"I said, good morning," Jongdae repeated pointedly after a while, patting his shoulder before standing up straight again. "Hey, by the way, I want to try maybe adding a new emotion today. Is that alright?"

Minseok only nodded at him calmly.

It was characteristic, but Jongdae was not satisfied with it, and he crossed his arms, giving the robot a pouting frown in response to his lack of response. "That's not very polite, you know. I'm talking to you, Minseok," he scolded gently.

Minseok, however, seemed to be getting just a little bit flustered, a little bit helpless, which on the other hand, was not very characteristic of him. He glanced around him momentarily in search of another option, Jongdae staring at him all the while, but he ended up just resorting to grabbing onto Jongdae's hands, giving him innocent eyes as he squeezed affectionately, mimicking what the boy always did for him.

The way the robot stared back at him with pink cheeks and a slightly trembling bottom lip was making Jongdae start to think that holding his hands was the only thing he could do to show he was still listening.

"Minseok, what's wrong?" he questioned, frowning and starting to become concerned again. "Can you not speak?"

Minseok shook his head in reply.

Jongdae furrowed his eyebrows, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. This definitely wasn't good. What was going on? Was he malfunctioning?

"Let me take a look at you, okay?" he offered gently, starting to feel nervous about what he might find when he does, and Minseok gave him another nod, letting go of his hands.

Jongdae just hoped everything was alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to update more often lol
> 
> But regardless I hope you enjoyed this. See you soon! c:


	14. Chapter 14

"Okay, try now," he directed, his fingers placed under Minseok's chin so the robot was looking him in the eyes.

There was a thick feeling in the air, one filled with both hope and nerves as he opened his mechanical jaw, took a breath in, and tried to form a word, a word that Jongdae suspected (and maybe hoped) was going to be his name.

But for what felt like the millionth time already, as hard as he tried, he just couldn't do it. He couldn't force a sound out.

He gave Jongdae a sad look, helplessly shaking his head, and the mechanic sighed deeply. This was much more complicated than he really could have expected. In fact, it was kind of what he was afraid of.

It had been five days since he'd first found out that Minseok had lost his voice.

And it wasn't from getting too excited at a football game or getting a really bad cough. Jongdae couldn't just tell him to drink lots of water and hope for the best. He wished it was that simple, but this was one of the few ways that machines were less simple to him than humans.

By that point, he had to admit he was missing the robot's voice, as cheesy as that may seem. Jongdae always used to think he was that one single person who wasn't bullshitting when he said he liked the silence better than hearing other voices, but it was starting to look like he was just as wrong as everyone else.

After all these years, he finally longed to hear a voice instead of being afraid to. He wished for love instead of pushing it away.

"Alright," he said softly. "I think I've tried enough for tonight. I'm sorry, Minseok."

The robot only gave him a simple nod of understanding, and once again, they went to make their way upstairs for the night. In all likelihood, it was either sometime around or well past midnight; Jongdae hadn't realized how late in the day it had been when they'd come down to the basement, nor did he realize how much time they'd spent there, but the crescent moon was now perched high in the sky.

"Are you going to get some rest?" he asked gently when they reached the living room. That was the other thing that was eating at him; on top of the issue with speaking, the robot had seemed fatigued in a way that Jongdae didn't realize was possible for a machine.

It was like some greater force was twisting things in his life around, trying to test how easy it was to slice him into two pieces like a vegetable. Coincidentally, Jongdae was starting to feel a considerable bit like a halved onion. He felt as useful as one in this situation, anyway.

Minseok nodded at him again for the umpteenth time that day, looking tired and expressionless as he walked over to lay himself down on the couch and get comfortable.

Jongdae just stared at him wistfully as he shut his eyelids, wishing that he could do something to fix this.

For once in his life, he wanted to have control, to know what he was doing, to show somebody (even a robot) that he could protect them.

And although that's what Minseok was - a robot, that is - Jongdae cared about him as if he were the most compassionate, down-to-earth person alive, as if there were a red heart beating against the metal in his chest.

_Alright, easy there, Shakespeare. No need to get all deep about this right now._

Soon enough, the soft sounds of steady breathing whispered through the room as he stood there next to the couch, and he knew without having to glance at the slightly parted lips and peacefully curled up body (although, obviously, he did anyways) that Minseok was asleep.

Now, usually, the time Minseok cashed out for the night was only minutes before he went to bed himself. Being kind of whipped even though he was the actual homosapien in this relationship, he usually wasn't quite sure what to do when the robot wasn't up and about.

Although, granted, he often spent a good deal of time just laying in bed before he fell asleep, staring at the ceiling in thought like the over-contemplative guy he was.

Regardless, tonight was going to be different. Or at least, he wanted it to be.

With everything he'd accomplished so far, all of progress he'd built on top of Luhan's since the beginning, it was kind of silly for something like this to be making things so difficult for him.

And so quietly, he rotated himself on the floorboards, hoping that they wouldn't squeak as he tiptoed towards the door back to the basement. As things were, he had a mission to complete.

Conveniently enough, he'd just recently started to write down things he thought were good to remember in this empty notebook that he'd found in the basement; the corner of it had been poking out from underneath one of the desks displaying abandoned projects of Luhan's, and Jongdae thought it could be pretty useful to him.

For writing important notes or spilling his feelings onto an 8.5 by 11 inch piece of paper like a lovesick teenage girl, he hadn't been quite sure yet, but he knew it'd come in handy either way.

The notebook was currently laid down on the table by his tools, (he'd been glancing at a few things he'd jotted down when he was continuing his search for Minseok's voice) and he grabbed it, taking a quick look around the room for someplace to sit down.

But then, he remembered that today, the weather had actually been very nice. Especially compared to how it had been recently. Did he really want to coop himself up in here? It was already a shame that they'd spent all their daylight inside.

Acting on another unusual impulse, he turned back to the stairs, and up he went, making sure to step as lightly as possible when he was near Minseok again and grabbing his pencil off of the floor where he'd dropped it earlier (the robot had grabbed his shoulders to get his attention, and it had gone flying out of his hands as he squealed like a four-year-old girl. Definitely not one of his finest moments, he had to say).

Cool yet still unusually warm air greeted him with open arms as he stepped outside the cabin, and he embraced it, breathing it in as he took a seat, crossed his legs comfortably and set his notebook down in his lap.

It wasn't the easiest thing ever to see properly out there, his only light being the light of the moon, but he couldn't really complain. Ever since he was a little kid, he'd always loved to look up and see the moon above him, all those miles away. As cliché as it was, seeing that glow in the sky and knowing that thousands of other people could look up and see the same moon made him feel less alone.

He turned to a random empty page, gripping tight to his pencil to help keep him awake and focused.

_Alright, what questions have I asked him so far?_

He went back through the past couple of days in his head thoughtfully, eyes watering a bit as a nipping wind blew directly into his face. A small hiss of discomfort escaped him, and he used his heels to clumsily scoot around so he was facing the other way.

_Okay. Better._

He blinked, pressing the tip of his pencil to the paper.

_Wait...what was I gonna write again?_

He sighed, tapping his eraser on the page in irritation. This whole thing was going to drive him crazy. Especially because he'd been feeling emotionally and physically gross these past couple of days (he hoped he wasn't getting sick; that'd just make everything worse) but mainly because he didn't have the slightest idea what had caused this voice problem.

Despite everything, though, he definitely couldn't say he minded the robot taking hold of his hands whenever he wanted his attention. That was pretty much the only upside to this; it was so cute, it made Jongdae's heart feel like it might burst every time.

_Dammit, Jongdae. Snap out of it. Thinking about this stuff isn't gonna do you any good right now._

_Not that it would any other time, but especially not now._

Mindlessly, he scrawled down a heading for a section of the note page, just wanting to get something on the irritatingly empty paper, and he had to stare at it for a stupidly long time to realize exactly what he'd wrote.

_ Stuff _

He snorted, rolling his eyes at his own lack of focus and rubbing over his handwriting with what was left of the pitiful pink eraser.

With his luck, however, it seemed he'd picked the pencil with probably the shittiest eraser he'd ever come across, and he ended up writing (and going over, so it was bold enough to be legible) his new heading over the barely faded previous one.

**_ Questions _ **

Alright. Now he just had to remember the questions he'd asked him within the past five days.

His jaw dropped open in a sudden wide yawn, one that made his eyes water again, and he covered his mouth even though no one was there to look at his yawning face - which mind you, was horrendous enough to make a grown man cry. Then, with eyelids hanging low over his pupils, he smacked his lips tiredly as he realized something.

Shit. He forgot what he was thinking about again.

It was something about Minseok...

_Well, no shit._

And then, miraculously, it came back to him, and he forced himself to jolt into action, quickly doodling a bullet point underneath his new heading before he forgot.

Right. Questions. Ones he'd asked Minseok.

And then something else hit him.

_Wait. I'm a dumbass. I could've just looked at the goddamn heading._

_Oh well._

In any case, now that he thought about it, he was pretty sure he'd asked about the robot feeling different or something; his throat, and whatnot.

That was as much news to him as the fact that Minseok couldn't speak in the first place, but hey. Baby steps.

Hopefully, it wouldn't be long before he found the solution to this strangely arbitrary problem. After he got used to hearing it, he had really come to love Minseok's voice; it had only the slightest robotic edge to it, and it was surprisingly gentle most of the time. Jongdae often found it comforting, especially at times when stressful, self-deprecating thoughts were running wildly through his head.

Like right now, for example.

He briefly wondered if the human Minseok's voice had sounded the same, but soon banished the thought, reminding himself that he'd come to the conclusion that robot Minseok was the Minseok he loved; his intelligence paired with cute, childlike innocence, his strength paired with obliviousness.

_Goddamn it._

It was like no matter what he did, he couldn't stop his thoughts from eventually drifting back to bitter, angry things that made him want to break something or awful, cheesy things that made him want to gag himself.

_You always were afraid of humans. Figures you'd catch feelings for a robot._

Finally, he decided to just take a break for a few minutes. If he could just lay there and let his thoughts run wild for a little while, maybe he could get them all out of his head so he could focus on the issue at hand.

Turns out he'd underestimated how tired he actually was; the moment he tossed his notebook aside and let his head rest back on the ground, his vision faded out to black as his eyelids fell shut.

Mindlessly, he listened to the night sounds surrounding him, curling up to help tame the goosebumps on his skin caused by the chilly wind. It was starting to seem like the cold weather would come back, and he absently mourned the warmth and sunshine that him and Minseok had missed the previous day.

One day, he hoped that he could spend time with Minseok outside when it was warm and springlike. Maybe, if he'd put in enough work by then, they could have fun together. Maybe they'd chase after each other in the woods, almost become lost but get saved by Minseok's gps system or something cute and mushy like that. It made his conscious sound like a motivational speaker, but he wondered if maybe, anything was possible.

Maybe.

Slowly, these thoughts were once again replacing those of protest and lulling him towards the favorable option of sleep before he even realized it, and he really would have drifted off if it weren't for the loud creaking noise that rang out from inside the cabin.

Jolted back awake, Jongdae sat up, his head snapping to face the door on instinct. His muscles tensed up as he stared at it, wishing that he could see through it without having to open it.

Had Minseok gotten up?

If he had, something was definitely up; in all the time Jongdae had lived with him, he'd never woken up in the middle of the night. Not even once. At least, not that he knew of.

For a while, he stayed right there in his spot on the ground, frowning and listening intently for any other possible noise, but as the seconds ticked on and on, he could only hear the wind whispering against his ears.

Maybe he'd imagined it.

Or maybe Minseok had gotten up, but then just laid back down and gone back to sleep. Maybe he had gotten up and was now just standing there in the middle of the cabin like a lost puppy, unsure of what to do or where to go.

Or maybe, the sound wasn't Minseok at all. Maybe Jongdae should've been afraid.

In the end, it didn't really matter, because in the blink of an eye, he felt the little consciousness he had left slipping into nothing, his muscles simultaneously twitching in shock before relaxing, becoming still.

In his last waking moments, he attributed it to the wet, almost sweet-smelling cloth in the bony hand that clamped over his mouth.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was kinda trash but I hope you liked it sdkufsduhsdfh 
> 
> See you soon! c:


	15. Chapter 15

When Jongdae came back inside that morning, having woken up outside with a miserably sore back and bad breath that probably rivaled any canine's, it was clear to him by the way he shivered, the way his head pounded and his body ached, that it was official.

He was sick.

This was also supported by the fact that he couldn't really remember much of what had happened last night; it was all a blur of fatigue and daydreams, and with the way he felt right now, he couldn't be bothered to try and recall any of it.

When he opened the door, lugging his sore body into the cabin with a whimper of discomfort, he was not pleased to find that - just like a few mornings ago - Minseok laid limp on the couch, the button on his chest void of its usual blue glow.

A frown of concern quickly met his lips.

_Great. This again._

Knowing himself, Jongdae pretty much expected the worst-case scenarios that began to run through his head.

_What if he can't see? What if he can't hear? Or what if he's just broken?_

Praying as hard as he could that he would be wrong, he approached the robot with tentative steps, half expecting him to just bolt up from his seat and scare Jongdae half to death. Paranoia was truly a constant weight on his back.

Then, with another simple push of the object of his distress - that being the button on Minseok's chest - just like before, his companion's systems awoke, the blue glow returning.

In fact, Jongdae was almost tricked into thinking that he'd gotten lucky this time. It figures.

"Hey," he greeted calmly as Minseok's eyelids lifted, flashing him a gentle smile even though the way his stomach was churning made him want to do the opposite. There was a part of his brain that wondered if he smiled enough, one day, Minseok would try to mirror the gesture. That was his hope, at least. "You feeling alright today?"

Knowing himself, Jongdae was actually surprised that he hadn't anxiously dreamed up what ended up happening next.

At first, he wasn't really sure what to think when the strange look began to form on the robot's face. His body stilled, and fear rushed into his eyes, blowing them up so full that they widened by half their size.

It was a familiar fear that Jongdae understood, and even felt like he related to. A fear that he had felt before, though he couldn't quite identify it.

But his instincts did tell him one thing; this type of fear was not supposed to be affecting Minseok. It never had before, and by any normal circumstances, it never should have. Something was very wrong.

"What?" he questioned worriedly, reaching forward for Minseok's hand like he always did. No matter what happened, Jongdae trusted that he'd be able to comfort Minseok that way. "What's wrong?"

Today, it turned out, was different.

To his absolute shock, Minseok smacked his hand away and scrambled to his feet, aggressively grabbing ahold of Jongdae's shirt much like Chanyeol had done just days ago.

Jongdae's breath caught in his throat, and he raised a white flag, hands flying up in front of him in hopelessly confused surrender. "Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?" he stammered.

Minseok had never grabbed at him like this before. Hell, Minseok rarely even made his own move to touch him, let alone grip him by his shirt collar and hold him several inches off the ground like he was some sort of threat. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out that the time for worrying was finally upon him.

"What are you doing?" he repeated as Minseok remained still and silent, staring intently at him as if he might find answers to a burning question somewhere in Jongdae's face. It was like he had a wild animal looking back at him; so different from Jongdae's calm, polite companion. "What's going on-"

Jongdae felt the pain before he even realized what was happening.

Shocks of it like lightening bolts shot through his head and down his back, and he knew he would've cried out if he'd been able to, but he couldn't even breathe, the air knocked clear out of him.

He was now laying on the floor, he realized with watering eyes from the hurt and confusion swirling around in his head. Minseok had thrown his already aching body to the floor like an object.

Finally, he was able to gasp a breath into his lungs, his chest quivering pitifully as he stared up at the spinning ceiling. Weak and shaking, he made a desperate attempt to push himself away, clinging to his chance of not being beaten, but only groaned in helplessness as he saw a figure step over him through the blur of his tears.

"Minseok," he choked out pathetically, dizziness slurring his voice. The robot had thrown him down so hard, the impact his head made with the floor was starting to make his senses foggy.

But then, all of a sudden, Minseok went completely still.

Jongdae still breathed unsteadily underneath his looming figure, terrified and confused and dizzy, and he blinked away his tears to try and see again, each one slipping from the corners of his eyes and down his red cheeks towards the floor.

Minseok stood there above him with his fingers brushing against his own throat as he stared at nothing, lips open and twitching slightly. It looked like he was searching for his voice and just couldn't seem to locate it, and suddenly, even in his daze, Jongdae realized what was happening.

"Your voice cut out a few days ago, Minseok. I've been trying to fix it," he explained, trying to keep his voice from trembling as he brushed his fingers against Minseok's legs in a sort of plea for mercy, a plea for the robot to believe what he was saying.

The contemplative blue eyes looked back down at him, and he searched hopefully for any sign that Minseok accepted his explanation as truth. When he found nothing but pure confusion, though, he continued on in the hope that maybe more of the story would earn back his trust.

"I'm Jongdae, remember?" he told him, letting one hand rest loosely around the robot's ankle and using the other to wipe the hot tears off of his face. "You saved my life when I had a really bad fall and there was no one else to help me. I'm repaying you by finishing you. For Luhan."

Minseok looked so lost standing there above him, so confused, but at the mention of that name, some sort of vague understanding seemed to be coming over him. The guilt that had been there just days ago seemed to be glazed over his pupils once more, and the still disconcerted boy on the floor clung to his hope.

Putting his trust in Minseok even though his head still pounded because of him, he reached a feeble hand up, and as miraculous as it was void of any real compassion, Minseok took it, helping him back onto his feet.

He was a little unsteady, his head spinning as his legs pushed up off of the floor, but with arms as strong as Minseok's helping him up, it would have been hard to fail at getting himself upright.

The crushing weight of panic that had been pushing on his chest was finally disintegrating despite him still stumbling a bit, and he was so glad that the robot had stopped when he did. Though, it obviously would have been ideal for him to have done so before he'd thrown Jongdae down to the floorboards.

But again, it could have been much worse, so he wasn't complaining.

"Are you okay now?" he asked, keeping a hand on Minseok's shoulder so he didn't just topple over like a domino. The robot supported him without protest. Not that he could have done so verbally, but he didn't try to move away either. Jongdae wondered if it really was the guilt.

Minseok's facial expression would only contribute to that idea, considering that he still looked like he was having an internal battle of the mind, and he opened his mouth again, seemingly forgetting the absence of his voice and trying to speak on instinct.

Jongdae frowned, feeling sympathy and even guilt well up in his chest; he should have made himself focus more on writing notes last night. "You want to tell me something?" he asked.

Minseok nodded in reply, and Jongdae hoped he wasn't imagining the way that the proposition seemed to help relax him a bit.

As slowly as possible, Jongdae let go of his shoulder, taking a deep breath to try and help regain his balance. It's not that he didn't know it would be best for him to get himself a glass of water, maybe even lay down for a while considering that he felt like absolute shit (he suspected he had a fever for whatever reason).

But that didn't really matter, because Minseok had something to say to him, and so he hobbled like a newborn fawn to the front door.

The cold, dry air immediately bit at his nose when he pulled it open, and he felt disappointment join the slight nausea in his stomach. Apparently, the weather gods had decided that Jongdae freezing his ass off in Luhan's old, paper-thin jacket was an entertaining sight for them.

_Lovely._

Shivering underneath his already thin clothes, (he briefly wondered just how impressive Luhan's tolerance to the cold had been) he quickly ran out to grab his notebook and pencil from where he'd fallen asleep the night before.

Then, much like a startled cat, he dashed back inside, yanking the door shut behind him in relief.

"Here," he offered as he turned around, handing the book and pencil to Minseok, who accepted it from him politely. "Write down what you want to say."

Simply nodding in compliance, the robot opened the notebook to a random page somewhere in the middle, and naturally, Jongdae just expected him to keep turning until he found an empty one.

On the contrary, Minseok actually seemed to be pausing on the page he was currently on, reading through the words that Jongdae had jotted down.

That seemed a little odd to him. Even if Minseok had curiosity programmed into him, he was normally one to just do what Jongdae told him.

Then again, Minseok wasn't acting normal this morning by any means.

And to make things weirder, he didn't even turn the page to start writing something. Instead, he drew an arrow - pointing to something in particular that Jongdae had written - right on the page he was on, then scratched down his own little note.

Jongdae raised an eyebrow as Minseok handed it to him, and he looked down at the page, unsure of what he was about to see. It took him less than a second to find the handwriting that wasn't his; Minseok's looked like a computer font, which he supposed made sense, but it didn't make it any less weird.

**What does this word mean?**

Jongdae followed the arrow with his eyes, and when he read what was at the end of it, he could feel his heart start to crumple into itself like an empty candy wrapper.

_I'm scared that I'm in_ _ love _ _with Minseok._

Just because the universe hates him, the robot had chosen to underline that stupid word, that evil word, that word that was giving Jongdae so much trouble when really it shouldn't have been.

_How is my luck this bad?_

"That..." he muttered quietly, swallowing.

_Oh my god. How_ _am_ _I_ _supposed to_ _respond to that?_

He licked his lips, opening them, then shutting them. Then opening them again.

"It's..."

Minseok waited patiently, unsuspecting of anything.

"Is it okay if I explain later?" he asked finally. Because when it doubt, putting off the inevitable is always an option.

To his relief, Minseok just nodded his head yes, and Jongdae released a breath he hadn't even realized he was holding. "Good," he said, literally taking matters into his own hands by grabbing the notebook and turning it to an empty page where Minseok could no longer read the embarrassing bullshit Jongdae wrote down for his own coping.

"There," he remarked, pointing to the top of the page. "Now you can tell me what you need to."

Over the next hour or so, they used the notebook to talk to each other, Jongdae answering any question Minseok would ask him about the things he didn't remember. It wasn't long before Jongdae felt too achy to be standing up anymore, so they moved over to the couch where he could rest.

It was so weird to have to tell Minseok these things. Things like when Jongdae had gotten hurt, if Jongdae had known Luhan, if Jongdae's injuries had healed, what Jongdae had already done to continue working on him. He felt like he was in the much weirder version of a cliché romance movie where one of the main characters gets amnesia and doesn't remember their lover.

Nevertheless, as Minseok relearned more and more about Jongdae and the things that had happened over the past months, he seemed to quickly develop more and more of a responsibility towards his human companion, placing his hand on Jongdae's forehead to check for heat and afterwards, fetching him a glass of water from the kitchen ("You're sick; you need to stay hydrated").

Although this comforted Jongdae, mainly because it showed that at least Minseok wasn't losing his emotions, he still didn't feel like he knew him when things were like this. Even though the robot knew the facts about him, how he should treat him, everything Jongdae could think to tell him about, (which was enough for his throat to be getting sore, mind you) he wasn't the same Minseok from before.

The knowledge was there, but the memories weren't.

That's ultimately what made Jongdae decide something. Once he started feeling better, he was going to get to the bottom of this.

He was going to get _his_ Minseok back.

*****

The question at hand:

Was Jongdae going to spend more time sleeping?

That was easy; of course he was. His fever was only becoming worse by the hour, his body feeling more sore than ever along with shivers and goosebumps paired with sweats and flushed cheeks. He'd have to be certifiably insane to spend another minute awake.

At least, that's what he thought. But that was only up until the moment that he shut his eyes.

See, he'd been sitting awake for a little while before then anyways, mainly because Minseok had _already_ fallen asleep himself. Jongdae had frowned to himself when he realized it.

_He's been spending so much time asleep. I don't like it._

_Is there another thing wrong with him that I'm just not aware of?_

He supposed that it wouldn't be the first time. When it came down to it, Jongdae wasn't really as observant as he would like to think he was. Or maybe it would be better to say that he was bad at interpreting the things he observed.

He saw most things, but didn't understand many of them.

It didn't really matter though, because all of this thinking was about to give him another headache, and he was pretty sure he'd rather eat lawn fertilizer with a spoon than have to deal with that again.

That was what lead him to shut his eyelids, breathing in deep and letting his body sink down into the cushions of the couch. To his dismay, it did take him a little while to actually get to the point of almost falling asleep, which he blamed on his still burning face, but when he pressed his freezing cold palms to his cheeks, it helped to relax him, to coax him towards rest.

But before he could finally drift off to sleep, something stopped him. Something froze his bones and set his nerves alert.

Distant sounds echoing to his ears from who knows how far away, causing a chill to creep up his spine.

At first he thought that it sounded a bit like a machine running wild, but after a few moments, it occurred to him what it really was.

A voice.

He sat up, listening closer to make sure that he wasn't imagining what he was hearing. The sounds just continued, tearing through the forest outside in a dissonant melody that set Jongdae's nerves on edge.

The longer he listened, the more the noises sounded like distant, ripping cries of agony, and Jongdae could feel his pulse quickening in horror. _What the hell?..._

His eyes darted nervously back over to Minseok's peacefully sleeping form on the couch cushions, his ears totally unaware of the horrid low noises outside that Jongdae wasn't even sure were human.

_There's something really wrong. We've gotta hide._

Suddenly fearing for the wellbeing of both of them, (although that wasn't unusual) he raised himself to his feet with a small creak of the floorboards.

This was the best thing to do. They couldn't stay here; even if nothing happened, (which it really could) he would drive himself crazy with worry.

Impulsively, he slid his hands underneath Minseok's back, scooping up his sleeping form as gently as possible and hurrying to carry him off towards the back of the cabin.

Maybe it was just the paranoia weighing down on him again, but honestly, he didn't really care. He'd rather spend a night on the basement floor despite there being no actual threat than spend the night upstairs and be slaughtered by some batshit crazy guy with a chainsaw.

There was this cringe that remains on his face the whole time he was going down the stairs, not only because of the awful screaming but also because Minseok's foot just _ke_ _pt_ _on_ hitting the wall as he went, hard enough to make Jongdae wonder how he was even staying asleep.

Once they were finally safe downstairs, he breathed a heavy sigh of relief, feeling around on the wall for the light switch. It took him a second, but when he found it, he flipped on one of the dimmer lights before taking the still peaceful Minseok over to a spot up against the wall.

_Alright. We_ _'re probably not gonna_ _get murdered here, so that's a plus._

As carefully as he could, he sat down on the hard floor, watching to make sure Minseok was still asleep, and at first, the robot remained completely still, just like he had been before. Jongdae was rather proud of himself, actually; he was pretty much the dictionary definition of klutz, but somehow he had managed to get the robot all the way down here without waking him up.

Ironically enough, that was the exact moment that he heard him take a particularly big breath in, feeling a slight movement in his lap, and when Jongdae glanced back down, Minseok was staring back up at him with cute, sleepy doe eyes.

They seemed questioning, like they were asking Jongdae why they were here and no longer upstairs.

Actually, as selfish as it may seem, Jongdae was a little glad that Minseok couldn't speak in that moment. If he had done so, in a quiet, sleepy tone as he laid there in his lap, Jongdae thought he literally may have started to have heart palpitations.

"You can go back to sleep, okay?" he murmured gently despite the faint traces of that same urgent voice ripping out through the night air. Soothingly, he slid his fingers through Minseok's silky hair, letting one of his thumbs drag softly back and forth over his cheek.

Still barely conscious and not seeming to notice the distant yelling, Minseok just nodded slowly up at him, and Jongdae watched as his blue eyes fell shut again. As minutes passed, he briefly wondered if somehow, his arms around the small robot's body had helped him fall back asleep.

For a long time, Jongdae just sat there on the basement floor, holding Minseok close. It wasn't that he didn't want to sleep. That was the opposite of what it was, actually. If he were anywhere else, under any other circumstances, he was pretty sure he would have slept for the next century or so without cracking an eye open once.

But even so, Jongdae stayed up all night that night, holding Minseok against his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'VE BEEN SO PRODUCTIVE HOLY SHIT
> 
> I actually like this chapter a lot ?? It was surprisingly eventful
> 
> Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed ♡ See you soon! c:


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good luck, friends

Jongdae's steps were heavy as he jogged around the cabin, listening to the sound of his own voice calling out a familiar name.

He was answered by his own echoes against the cabin walls, but nothing more, and with the passing of minutes, the emptiness of each room was starting to get to his head.

Now, he did know Minseok couldn't call back to him. The robot still hadn't been able to find his voice, and that was nobody's fault. Not to mention that in the time he'd been living there, Minseok had proved himself to be quite a wanderer, so it's not like Jongdae would usually make a big deal out of this. It wasn't even abnormal, really.

But that was just what bothered him. The past week  _had_  been abnormal. Minseok's behavior had scared the living daylights out of him more than once, all in just the past couple of days.

That being said, maybe there was good cause to worry for once.

"Minseok!" he tried one more time, raising his voice even louder as he looked around the room and out the window again.

And with hands that nervously scratched away at his collarbones, he waited. And waited, and waited.

There were birds fighting outside, and an uneasy wind blew, causing the walls to speak to each other in groans and creaks. It was the opposite of silence, but it felt just as unsettling.

His lips rubbed subconsciously together as he tried to gather his thoughts. His luck wasn't often kind to him, but he held a sliver of hope that maybe Minseok had found another injured animal like Lu, and was only trying to help.

_Okay, relax,_ he told himself, suddenly noticing that his collarbones stung from his nails raking against them. With a sigh, he dropped his hands to his sides and gave them a time-out in his pockets. _Everything is probably fine, and freaking out is only going to make it all worse. Just be calm and think._

Think.

Coherent thought was hard to achieve, but Jongdae was not a quitter when it came to the things he loved.

Flipping through the short list of memories from the day so far, he immediately recalled - with a slight worsening of his mood - that the last time he'd seen Minseok was this morning.

This morning, in which the knife in his gut was twisted around a bit.

It had been about ten, he remembered. He was only getting himself a drink from the kitchen to make his burning questions seem casual when he asked them. Obligatory, even.

"So, do you remember anything more since yesterday?" he'd asked as he filled his glass with water. "Or maybe your voice has starting working again?"

His voice didn't make him sound like he was expecting much. And it was a good thing he wasn't, because his only answer was Minseok's completely blank face as he shook his head.

It still sucked, though. It sucked, as much as - if not more than - that time he'd told Minseok he was leaving just to make him cry. At least it  _seemed_  like the robot cared then.

Ten o'clock passed them by, and Jongdae really hated this feeling. After downing his pointless glass of water, he succumbed to what was definitely desperation, and began to try anything he thought might help Minseok remember.

He'd tried holding his hand, taking him to the edge of the creek where they'd sat together in silence. He'd talked about that time Minseok had bravely saved them from a huge bear. Then, when they caught fish together - carefully, so Minseok didn't get wet and risk malfunction.

He'd reintroduced him to Lu and described how the robot had found the bird injured outside of the cabin, bandaging him up so he could heal. He even brought up Chanyeol, and how Minseok had rescued Jongdae from being beaten senseless. No matter how hard he tried, nothing brought that sense of familiarity back to Minseok's face when their eyes met.

And now, hours later, he just couldn't find him anywhere.

Nope. 'Everything was probably fine' his ass. Now wasn't a good time to panic, but he wasn't about to brush this off like it was nothing, either. 

It was officially time to start looking elsewhere, and that meant it was time to leave the cabin. Jongdae had searched it high and low and found nothing, so either Minseok had taken to hiding from him, or he was out there somewhere, roaming the forest.

Jongdae almost wished it was the former.

Without even grabbing his jacket, he rushed outside, resigning himself to helplessly calling Minseok's name again. It was cold, like it always was these days, but he was distracted by the hollow way his calls echoed through the trees. It was not comforting, to say the least, and it definitely didn't help that the birds were restless, and the sky hung over his head like a hungry tiger.

As he walked through the dead leaves alone, he did his best to ignore how uneasy it all made him feel. In pretty much all the cartoons he'd ever seen, bad things would happen on days that looked like this one. Cloudy and windy and disturbed. Jongdae could feel the atmosphere getting to his head before he even knew it.

No worries, though. This was okay. None of it  _really_  bothered him. Not even the fact that this forest was huge, and the odds of him running into Minseok by a stroke of dumb luck weren't promising. With every step, he did his best to restore his confidence, crunching leaves under his shoes.

Minseok was out here. He was sure of it.

And yet, he couldn't help but feel like he was forgetting something. It coaxed together his two eyebrows, and made his lips bunch up like he had a sour taste in his mouth. This feeling was always so annoying to him - having something important on the tip of your tongue but not being able to reach it.

Through the tunnels of his brain he went, the mental journey almost making him forget about the journey he was making on foot.

Almost making him overlook the answer he'd been searching for the whole time.

He walked and walked and looked all around him, yet was completely blind to it for minutes. It stared him right in the face as he marched on - a seemingly harmless beast hiding in place sight. He must have walked a half a mile before finally,  _finally_  noticing the sensation on his face and in his hair that was more important - and more terrifying - than anything.

His heart sank into his stomach, and his face went pale.

It was raining.

Like a crack of thunder, something in his chest snapped as he felt the beads roll down his face.

_It's raining._

"Minseok!" he cried out in sudden alarm, beginning to frantically sweep his eyes around as both his heartbeat and his feet jolted into action.

_This can't be happening._

"Minseok!" he called again, fear threatening to break his words as he cupped his hands around his mouth. All he needed was a sign. The blue light on his chest, a silhouette, anything. "Come here, now!"

He could barely squeeze the volume out of his voice as his head pounded, and he covered his face with his hands. The feeling of the water drenching his hair was the feeling of pure fear. It nearly threatened to take his consciousness.  _No, no, no..._

Running without knowing where to go, he tried his best not to lose his mind, because that was what he needed the most in that moment. He had to think. Just think.

Think.

The noises all around him made it very hard to do that. It was like feedback, cutting off the noise that really mattered.

His brain could barely even keep up with his feet racing through the leaves, and at that rate, he couldn't remember the places he'd been and the places he had yet to go.

Ocean waves of panic washed over him as precious minutes fell through his fingers, and the way they rose and crashed over his head made him dizzy. Loss' shadow stood tall over him, smacking him across his cheek over and over. No matter how long and hard he ran, he couldn't escape it.

Still, the rain fell. It fell harder and harder, hitting the trees and his head and mind until all he wanted to do was sit down and cry.

And then, of  _course_. Just when Jongdae's eyes were crumpled and pained and he was so sure it was all over, there he was.

Laying there in the wet leaves maybe twenty feet away, limp and drenched through his clothes.

Jongdae had never run so fast in his life. His heart screamed in relief, yet his mind screamed in another rush of panic because  _if_  Minseok wasn't yet broken forever, he would be soon.

Seeing him like that was awful. The burning in Jongdae's lungs came from his exhaustion, but also the sight of Minseok reduced to this pile of useless metal bones. His eyes were shut, but he was not asleep. His little blue light flickered, struggling to glow.

But Jongdae knew he couldn't spare the time to think as he scooped him up from the ground, taking off before even bothering to catch his breath.

There was only time to run, so that's what he did.

It hurt. That was inevitable, but he embraced the pain because his own legs and heart and body didn't matter. Nothing mattered to him except getting home. He just had to get home.

He ran, ran though everything ached, ran though the rain clouded his vision, clutching Minseok to his chest. He ran like it was his own life in danger.

_Okay, okay, this looks familiar..._

Trees passed him in a blur of colorless darkness, and he had to quickly dodge them as he sprinted. The weight of Minseok limp in his arms was the heaviest weight he'd ever had to carry. That twisting pain was ever-present in his chest, mingling with the cold feeling of Minseok laying motionless against him.

But he could've sworn he'd seen the creek. He  _swore_  he'd seen it. They had to be close now, so close. Almost close enough to touch the cabin walls with his desperate fingertips, like it was right in front of him and he just hadn't seen it.

But maybe he'd only been hallucinating. Trying to comfort himself so he didn't lose his head. 

Because things started to look unfamiliar as he pushed forward, and panic rose even higher in his throat as the trees bent over him like predators.

Had he gone the wrong way?

Jongdae's feet began to slow down, and his eyes darted all around him. No, no. This couldn't happen right then. It just couldn't.

It  _couldn't._

And it turned out it was a good thing he never completely stopped, because he finally had a prayer answered. His heart jumped up into his throat when he got his sign.

_Yes_. There was that cliffside he'd ran to the edge of months ago. His eyes now reached the cabin, the silhouette with the few shingles flapping in the violent wind. And that was all that mattered to him.

Like a wounded animal running from its attacker, he did his best to sprint towards it, holding even tighter to Minseok than before. Twenty feet turned into ten feet, then five, and then, just like that, he was there, tearing the door open like a madman.

His heart pounded harder on his chest like it was a prisoner _. Shit, shit, shit..._

Without even bothering to shut the door, he dropped Minseok on the couch, ripping the robot's wet clothes off and taking the briefest second to actually  _breathe_  like a human being was supposed to _._ He was definitely going to pass out if he didn't, and he wasn't any good to Minseok unconscious.

One deep breath. His hands clutched the couch cushions, and he screwed his eyes shut. Two deep breaths. Three. Four.

_Okay. Get up._

Jongdae's heart still protested as he rose to his feet again, but he didn't care. This whole situation was a mess. He was a mess, but that wasn't going to stop him from tearing off to his bedroom and emptying his dresser drawers to the bottom.

There was only a tiny sliver of vision through the pile of clothes in his arms when he left, but that was good. It meant he'd grabbed enough. "Okay, okay," he whispered hurriedly to himself as he raced down the stairs. Through his thin sliver of sight, he watched Minseok laying there on the couch, motionless and soaked with the rain.

This was his fault, and he had to fix it. Now.

Beads of water rolling off of Minseok's chest were dried with the bunches of clothes in Jongdae's hands, and he prayed this was enough. If his everything wasn't enough, then there would be nothing left to give, and Minseok would just be gone.

What would he do if Minseok was gone?

Jongdae bit his lip. No. He couldn't think about that. It would be his undoing.

And so he kept going, never once giving himself a break because he was  _going_  to fix this. The glistening was disappearing from Minseok's skin, but Jongdae allowed no time for patting himself on the back. Minseok's eyes were still shut, and until he opened them again, he wouldn't let himself think he'd achieved anything.

Clothes piled up on the floor. Jongdae was so taxed, and this desperation was only making it worse. He whispered comforting words to himself as he worked, trying to convince himself that this wasn't the end. There was still a chance.

_So don't you dare give up._

The hours were ticking away. Jongdae made sure that every singular drop of water had been cleared away before he even once opened up Minseok's chest. He wasn't going to risk anything.

With scrutinizing, determined eyes he searched through every device, every little piece of him beneath his skin, but couldn't find a thing that seemed like it wasn't in working order.

His heart thumped. Was this a gesture of mercy from who knows where, or was he just getting his hopes up?

_Is there really a chance for me?_

_For both of us?_

Only one way to find out.

Taking a deep breath, he extended his finger gingerly. The blue button waited, just like always.

_Just press it. Press it so this horrible feeling can be over._

Jongdae gathered his courage, shut his eyes, and pressed the blue button.

Blackness. Pitch blackness. Of course, he did have his eyes closed.

But there was also silence. And a lot of it, despite the pattering of the rain on the roof and walls. It was a new kind of silence, and it made his stomach feel queasy.

One at a time, Jongdae opened his eyes, only to find Minseok, still limp on the cushions.

It made him nervous. There was still something wrong. What could that be?

He had to find it, and quickly, because he was losing Minseok. He could feel that again, and it was as frightening as it was painful.

The push of a red button popped open Minseok's chest once more. Nothing had changed since Jongdae last checked it except his level of panic.

Once more he examined every part, anything and everything he could find. His hope was starting to fray.

_Shit. There really is nothing wrong in here._

Another shut and another press of the blue button, but no response. Just a dead robot with hidden blue eyes. Jongdae's heart only beat faster every time.

Again and again he searched inside of Minseok's chest, trying to find the one thing he possibly could have missed, but there was just not anything there for him to do. Every piece was in tact, where it had always been. Where it  _had_  to be.

He was starting to feel dizzy. The room was turning him around like a carousel, but he ignored the feeling as best he could. Faith in himself was all he had left, even though there was so little of it.

One last desperate time, he shut Minseok's chest, and pressed the little blue button. For almost a minute, he stood there, watching. Waiting.

But the little blue light had gone out.

Minseok was gone.

The blood began to drain from his face as he stared at his motionless body, as he wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close. He was shaking, and he couldn't stop.

Minseok was gone.

His hands gripped to every part of him as if that might bring him back, and he didn't even know he was crying until hot tears started sliding down his face and into Minseok's hair. But it didn't matter anymore. Nothing did.

The tears soaked his hair right through, and Jongdae sniffled, face blood red again. The thunder rumbled outside as he wept, rocking back and forth for comfort. The pain wasn't going to fade as long as he stayed this way, but it didn't mean anything. It didn't-

"I don't understand what you're doing right now, Jongdae. Your tears are going to make it worse."

His breath caught in his throat, heartbeat screeching to a halt.

Minseok.

"Honestly. You make a mess of our living room drying me off, then you cry into my hair. That seems a bit counterproductive, don't you think?"

Jongdae backed away from the tight hug he held Minseok in, a little afraid of what he might see.

Just the sound of Minseok's voice had stopped his tears in their tracks. And still, the sight of him was enough to bring them right back.

The weak robot had a hard time sitting up, and his blue stare flickered on and off, like the thunderstorm had been trapped in his eyes. The little blue thunderstorm was also in the button on his chest, struggling to stay alive.

Jongdae sucked in a breath, wiping his tears away from his cheeks as he sniffled. "Minseok," he said, voice small as he sat in a pool of shock and relief.

"That is my name, yes," the robot agreed, nodding his head as if he didn't just have a near-death experience.

Jongdae couldn't help but laugh. It was a stuffy laugh, his crying making it very nasally and difficult. But he sounded no less happy. "You're okay," he said, eyes shining.

Minseok's own eyes flickered one last time, then trapped their color inside. "I can thank you for that," he pointed out respectfully, nodding towards the pile of clothes on the living room floor.

Jongdae glanced at it, but still laughed breathlessly. "Are you kidding me?" he chuckled, grinning. "I can thank _you_  for that. You're a hell of a strong robot."

A seemingly pensive Minseok took a few moments to ponder that compliment, staring off into the kitchen, but looking at nothing in particular. Jongdae took the opportunity to grab a shirt from the floor and began to dry his wet orange hair.

Minseok sat still as the shaken but relieved man above him took every trace of water away, willing to sacrifice whatever time it took. It summed up exactly what Minseok was thinking to himself, and he was never one to keep secrets. 

"Perhaps you give me too much credit, Jongdae," the robot remarked, shutting his blue eyes. "Ever stop to think who helped make me that way?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> forgive me for that mess


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SAY THE NAME HOES
> 
> (this is actually the first time i've gotten to say that. which means it's the first time i've reached chapter seventeen in one of my fics,, yikes)

Jongdae sat with his legs curled up beside him, folding a pair of pants across his lap so it looked like a six year old had done it.

By using clothes to dry Minseok's body the other day, he'd left himself a sizable mess to clean up, but cleaning it helped him not think so much. The only thing that bugged him was that he was a mechanic, someone who needed to be neat and particular about things. Why the hell could he literally program a robot to feel emotions, but not fold a shirt correctly?

"So, I never asked you," Jongdae began so he could stop thinking about his clothes-folding incompetence. "How did you get your voice and memory back?"

"That was why I was out in the forest, actually," Minseok replied, eyes on the ceiling above him. His body was splayed out on the floor like a starfish. Minutes beforehand, he'd asked Jongdae for permission to lay like that. Jongdae found his subordination shocking sometimes. "There was something that you told me. It caused me to think my answer was out there."

"You kind of sound like a hippie," Jongdae commented, folding up a soft blue shirt that was his very favorite. It helped him fall asleep at night, especially now that the season had changed and the nights were cold. "Anyway, continue. I want to know how you ended up without a voice in the first place."

Minseok watched Jongdae's hands as he folded away. "Ah, that. You can thank that scum of the earth, Chanyeol," he told him with an edge of bitterness to his voice. "He was stealing bits of my programming onto little memory chips, then removing them from my system altogether. I was able to retrieve them since - thankfully - he's dead."

"Whoa, whoa, what?" Jongdae blurted out, nearly dropping the shirt in his hands. "He's dead? Did you kill him?"

Minseok shook his head. "No. I was beat to that job," he said truthfully, but also kind of like he wished he'd done it himself. "Remember that bear?"

Jongdae quickly realized exactly what he meant by that, and his face scrunched up as he swallowed the weird feeling in his throat. "Oh, man," he remarked, because as much as he hated Chanyeol for being an evil, conniving snake, he was not enjoying this mental image.

"Yes, he was torn to bits," Minseok told him, watching as Jongdae folded the last piece of clothing and placed it in the top drawer. "I was lucky I found the memory chips at all, and even luckier that I knew what to do with them."

Jongdae cringed, unable to stop imagining Chanyeol's ripped remains mixed with dead leaves and dirt and bugs. That alone disturbed him, not to mention how unsettling it was to realize that the whole time, Chanyeol had been breaking in and stealing little parts of Minseok without him noticing.

"Sounds like it," he remarked, his frown lingering. Come to think of it, maybe that dream he had about somebody's bony ass grim reaper hand clapping a chloroform rag over his mouth wasn't a dream at all. Maybe it was Chanyeol's hand, and he'd done it just to get to Minseok and screw with his life.

_Man, what a dick._

Finally finished with his folding, an enlightened Jongdae dropped to his knees, crawling over like a toddler on a mission so he could splay himself out beside Minseok on the floor.

There was barely an inch between his face and Minseok's side, so he lifted his head in order to rest it on top of the robot's belly. "You know," he said, allowing his eyes to fall shut. "We should name that bear."

"I suppose we've named an animal before," Minseok remarked, looking down at him, which gave him an extra chin or two. Jongdae had to force himself not to laugh. "Alright then. I named the last one. It's your turn, Jongdae."

Jongdae finally let himself chuckle. There wasn't any reason for it, really. He was just happy. "Okay," he agreed, nodding his head. "How about-"

"Wait," Minseok interrupted, face lighting up abruptly. "Toby. Because we found him earlier this month, which is October."

Jongdae had to reach over his own head to give the robot a playful, scolding smack on the stomach. "You didn't let me talk!"

Minseok didn't even flinch. "I can't feel pain, Jongdae," he told him, raising his arm and giving himself an alarming punch in the side to demonstrate. It made Jongdae gasp. "You're not very good at getting the upper hand."

Jongdae just smacked him again, enjoying Minseok's unintentional pun and the fact that he felt nothing. How the whole pain thing never came up, Jongdae had no clue. But now he knew.

"You know, " the mechanic began after a small silence, wrapping his shirt tightly around himself in the chilly room. "I don't remember making you sassy or competitive. Where did you get that from?"

Grinning and curling his body up tightly like thread around its spool, he waited for his answer.

But moments rolled on, and the robot laid still and silent.

Slowly, Jongdae's smile melted from his face. A response was long past due, and it was enough for his brain to invite a bit of anxiety in. Jongdae neck was stiff as he tilted his head over to look at Minseok's face.

It felt like he was in a nightmare when their eyes met, and Minseok's were blank and void of their glow.

It was like he was reliving the horrible experience from just days ago all over again. Mere seconds felt like they would never end as he stared at Minseok, and Minseok looked back, yet never saw him.

Gray pupils and a lifeless face. That sight truly had been burned into his nightmares just nights ago, and now he feared he'd never be free of it.

Jongdae's throat was tightening up. _What do I do?_

Turns out he didn't need to know the answer to that question. Because then, just like that, the robot's eyes flickered back on like the lights after a power outage, and Minseok blinked like nothing had happened.

Jongdae continued to stare, the sinking feeling in his chest being eased by the blue that shined on him in the dark of the room.

Minseok, on the other hand, didn't seem at all aware of what just happened. "Jongdae, I have something I wasn't truly able to ask you," he brought up suddenly, laying his head back down on the floor.

Jongdae - who was trying to shake off this disturbing blip in their conversation - studied him, searching for any sign that he realized he had just shut down for a second. As he often did, Minseok remained oblivious. "Alright, hit me," Jongdae finally replied, giving in.

Minseok seemed puzzled by that remark, but tried to follow orders nonetheless, and Jongdae winced as he earned a punch in the arm, one that was probably meant to be gentle. And it would have been if Minseok wasn't so goddamn strong. "Ow! What is with you and punching things today?" Jongdae whined, rubbing his bicep. "Maybe you can't feel pain, but I can."

Minseok cocked his head. "But you said to-"

"Minseok," Jongdae sighed, shaking his head and trying not to smile. That robot sure made him smile a lot for someone who wasn't even aware he was funny. "That's a figure of speech. It means you should tell the other person what you're thinking."

The robot blinked. "Oh."

"Anyways," Jongdae steered the conversation back in the right direction, grabbing onto Minseok's hand and teasingly imprisoning it so he couldn't punch anymore. "What do you want to ask me?"

Because of course, he was curious. Minseok asked him things often, but somehow, this seemed more important. More like something Minseok had pondered over a longer period of time.

Minseok allowed his head to tilt pensively, his eyes lingering on the ceiling above him. "That word. Love," he mentioned quietly, like the word eluded him more than anything else. "You said you'd tell me what it means."

And with that, Jongdae's mood took its final turn for the worse. This was when he allowed his palms to rub his face, trying to work out the stress underneath his skin. _This is the last thing I want to talk about with him._

Their proximity did him no favor as he started to try and articulate the root meaning of everything he felt. "Well, I mean. It's this, like," he muttered, memories running through his head. "Feeling. I don't know, it's kind of weird."

_And it's really weird if you feel it for a robot._

"An emotion?" Minseok questioned, tone raising a bit in understanding.

"Not quite," Jongdae responded, glad that Minseok couldn't see the dumb look on his face. "But sort of."

Minseok placed his palms on the floor, pushing himself up so he sat up straight. It was a slow movement, so Jongdae's head would fall very gently into his lap. "So if your book said you were 'in love' with me, what does that mean?" he asked.

_And there it is. The dreaded question is back._

"It means that I have to go to sleep," Jongdae returned quickly, shutting his eyes and curling his body into an even tighter ball. "Right now. Goodnight."

"It's seven o'clock, Jongdae," Minseok reminded, leaning in to cast the blue light over Jongdae's face in the dark so he could still see it through his eyelids.

The mechanic kept his eyes squeezed shut, refusing to speak, and not just because he could feel Minseok's breath on his face. There was an endless list of things he'd rather talk about than this, and yet he knew he'd made it this mysterious concept in Minseok's mind. Something that he would never stop wondering about if Jongdae didn't explain.

But although Jongdae was smart enough to know that, he was also one to put things off.

"Does it have something to do with your life before you came here?" Minseok asked suddenly, his voice climbing in intonation as he sat up straighter than before. It was like that idea answered so many of the questions he'd never asked out loud.

Jongdae frowned. His life before he came here. That topic still confused him. There were little fragments that he knew, but they didn't all fit together in chronological order. Long term memory was never his forte when he was younger. From the parts of his life he could remember, he could understand why he had always repressed things, but it caused him to be unable to grasp them now.

"Jongdae?" Minseok murmured, leaning further forward to see if the mechanic had actually fallen asleep like he said he would.

"Yeah?" Jongdae replied halfheartedly, his attention elsewhere. The past was a easy web to get caught in when it came to contemplation, and the fact that he didn't really remember much of it didn't help.

Now that he was finally thinking about it, there was something far in his past that hung just above his fingertips and taunted him. It was a huge part of his life, he could tell. So huge that it was probably the reason he was even here.

"If this, 'love' causes you stress, I won't mention it anymore," Minseok assured him, trying to figure out why Jongdae suddenly seemed to be miles away. "But you have to tell me that."

Jongdae finally opened his eyes, and when he reassumed his position in this room, he decided that he belonged elsewhere. There was something he needed to know, and he couldn't find it laying on the floor of his bedroom. "No. There's something else," he told Minseok, grunting as he got up on his feet. "I'm going out for a while. Stay right here in this spot."

Jongdae walked with purpose towards the door, a new and heavy question rolling around in his head like a bowling ball. After all this time, he was determined to learn at least some of the truth.

But before he could leave to chase after that truth, he heard a small, "Wait," coming from behind him.

Jongdae paused in his spot, determination sinking to the floor. Minseok sounded nervous. It was something he hadn't heard in a while. Even with fear programmed into him, Minseok usually remained very collected, holding onto the calm look in his eyes.

Jongdae turned back, and sure enough, the Minseok with the shadow of doubt over his body sat there, as if waiting to see his face one last time. "Something wrong?" he asked him, frowning, because there clearly was.

The robot had such a weird look on his face. Jongdae just couldn't figure it out. "Put this on your wrists," he urged, tossing a small vial of clear liquid to Jongdae, who was lucky he was better at catching things than folding clothes. "Toby will trust you if he smells it. I don't want you to end up like Chanyeol."

While the mechanic didn't have the slightest clue what this liquid was or where Minseok had gotten it, he had really come to trust the robot. That was the main reason he nodded and did as he was told so willingly.

To him, it didn't smell like anything, but it felt nice on his skin. Smooth and slippery, like soap. Maybe it was something that Luhan put together years ago, and Minseok just happened to carry it around for safety reasons.

Either way, Jongdae really hoped it was effective, because once he got out there, he wasn't stopping for anyone. There was a new fire in him, one that insisted he find out once and for all who that bastard was.

"Jongdae."

Just as he was turning to leave for real, Minseok's uneasy voice brought his feet to a halt for the second time. For a moment, Jongdae wondered if it would be a mistake to leave him alone with his thoughts. Something about the way Minseok said his name made it clear he was worried about more than just Toby.

Even if Toby had proven himself to be pretty dangerous.

"Yeah?" Jongdae replied, turning around again to give Minseok his best look of consolation.

The look on Minseok's face had only grown more worried than before, and he had inched towards Jongdae, like he wished he could either stop him from going, or go along with him. "How do I know you'll come back?" he asked, eyes big and innocent.

And with that, Jongdae understood.

Suddenly, he wasn't in a hurry anymore. His itching impatience had disappeared in a matter of seconds, allowing his feet to carry him back to Minseok with a mind of their own. Turns out, every part of him knew what he cared about most.

Jongdae looked him calmly in the face as he crouched down in front of him. His words were gentle, much like the way he placed his calloused hands on an anxious Minseok's shoulders. "Because I'm not Luhan," he said, eyes holding nothing but honesty that he hoped his companion understood. "I'm me, and I'm not going to leave you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not sure what that was lol. but hEy look at me not taking 8 months to update!!


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